Love, desire, passion, and sex are what sustain long-term partnerships and keep them going for years, but without constant attention to the relationship, they can become monotonous and boring. Many couples who have been together for many years often suffer from sexual automatism, which is when their intimate life becomes predictable, routine, and mechanical. In order to avoid this situation, it is necessary to put effort into keeping things fresh and exciting. Here's how you can fight the drift towards sexual automatism in your relationship:
1. Talk about it: Communication is key in any successful relationship. Discussing your likes and dislikes, fantasies, desires, and preferences openly will help create an atmosphere where both parties feel comfortable expressing themselves freely. It also helps set boundaries and rules that everyone agrees upon. This way, you can avoid situations where one partner feels uncomfortable or forced into something they don't want to do.
2. Experiment with new positions and locations: Changing up your environment or trying out new positions can bring back some excitement to your sex life. You could try a different room or place in the house, like the kitchen counter or living room couch. Or, go outside and try having sex in nature. Being adventurous can make sex more enjoyable and memorable.
3. Try roleplaying: Roleplaying involves acting out scenarios or characters during sex, such as doctor/patient or teacher/student. This can add spice to your relationship by breaking down inhibitions and creating a fun, playful atmosphere. It can also encourage communication between partners and help them learn more about each other's desires.
4. Get creative: Using props, costumes, or even food can add flavor to your intimate moments. Bringing in items from around the house, such as whipped cream or lingerie, can be a fun way to switch things up. If you have access to themed rooms or adult stores, incorporating props like handcuffs or blindfolds can enhance the experience.
5. Read erotica together: Reading erotic literature is another great way to spark your imagination and get inspired for new ideas. Sharing stories of desire and arousal can stimulate both partners and open up dialogue about fantasies that may not have been discussed before.
6. Sexting: Sending dirty messages or photos via text message or email can keep the flame burning when you're apart. Keep it light-hearted and playful, but make sure both parties are comfortable with what they send.
7. Variety: Mixing up the frequency of sexual encounters can prevent monotony. You could take turns initiating sex, try scheduling it on different days of the week, or experiment with different times of day. A variety of settings and activities can also create anticipation and excitement.
Remember that fighting against sexual automatism takes effort and commitment from both partners. By communicating openly, trying out new things, getting creative, reading erotica, sexting, and mixing up the routine, you can bring back some spice into your long-term relationship and avoid boredom.
How do long-term couples fight the drift toward sexual automatism?
Long-term couples may find that they fall into patterns of predictability and familiarity with one another, leading to a sense of stagnation in their relationship. To combat this "drift towards sexual automatism," it is important for both partners to continue to communicate openly and honestly about their needs, desires, and preferences.