The yearning for parental approval is an innate need present in almost every human being, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation. It's a primal instinct that stems from childhood, when children learn to seek validation and acceptance from their parents or caregivers.
This need can become complicated when it comes to LGBTQ+ individuals who may face rejection and discrimination due to their sexual or gender identities. This phenomenon has led researchers to explore whether the desire for parental approval could be an evolutionary remnant that deepens the pain of queer rejection.
Evolutionary theory suggests that many human behaviors are adaptive and have been passed down through generations due to survival advantages they confer. One such behavior is seeking parental approval, which likely evolved as a way for offspring to ensure that they were accepted into their social groups and had access to resources needed for survival. This need was especially important in early hunter-gatherer societies, where families lived in small, tight-knit communities and survived based on cooperation.
The need for parental approval becomes more complicated when it comes to LGBTQ+ individuals who often face rejection and exclusion from their families of origin. Researchers have found that queer individuals experience higher levels of depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation than heterosexual peers, with family rejection being one of the primary factors contributing to these mental health issues. The need for parental approval can intensify these feelings of alienation, creating a vicious cycle of self-doubt and shame.
While some may argue that this yearning is simply a part of being human, there are those who suggest that it may be rooted in a deeper psychological issue related to our evolutionary past. Dr. Daniel Nettle, a professor at Newcastle University, argues that the need for parental approval is linked to our primordial desire for acceptance and belonging. He states that "We're hardwired to care what other people think about us." This instinct is particularly strong when it comes to parents or other authority figures who provide nurturing and support during childhood. When this need goes unmet, it can lead to feelings of worthlessness, low self-esteem, and even guilt.
The answer to whether the yearning for parental approval is an evolutionary remnant that deepens the pain of queer rejection is complex. While some researchers believe that it is an adaptive behavior that has been passed down through generations, others suggest that it is a product of societal conditioning and stigma. What is clear, however, is that addressing this issue will require a multifaceted approach that includes challenging societal norms and promoting greater understanding and acceptance within families and communities. Only then can we begin to heal the wounds caused by rejection and create more inclusive and supportive environments for all individuals.
Is the yearning for parental approval an evolutionary remnant that deepens the pain of queer rejection?
Although some researchers believe that the desire for acceptance from parents is rooted in human evolution, others argue that it is a social construct influenced by cultural values and norms. Regardless of its origins, experiencing rejection from one's family can be particularly challenging for individuals who identify as LGBTQ+.