What role does idealization of partners play in sustaining or distorting attraction?
Sustained attraction between romantic partners is often based on an initial idealization that may lead to disappointment later.
Idealization is a cognitive process whereby one partner projects positive qualities onto another partner that are often unrealistic and unattainable. This can be seen in the way people fantasize about their potential partner before meeting them, or how they create an imaginary version of the person in their minds. Idealization can also manifest after a relationship has begun, when one partner expects their partner to meet certain standards and behaves in ways that make it difficult for them to do so.
Idealization can also be helpful in sustaining attraction. By focusing on the best aspects of a partner, individuals can maintain a positive outlook and feel more satisfied with the relationship overall. It can also help individuals feel more secure in the relationship by giving them something to work towards and strive for.
Idealizing can provide a sense of safety and comfort, as the idea of perfection can seem less threatening than the reality of imperfection.
Too much idealization can also have negative consequences. If expectations are not met or if there is a lack of communication, idealization can become problematic.
If a partner fails to live up to idealized standards, it can lead to feelings of disappointment, anger, and resentment. Alternatively, if a partner feels pressure to always be perfect, this can cause anxiety, stress, and depression.
Idealization can lead to distorted views of the relationship and even contribute to its demise.
Idealization plays a complex role in sustaining or distorting attraction. While it can be beneficial in some cases, it can also have detrimental effects if taken too far. It's important for couples to communicate openly about their expectations and needs and work together to achieve balance between idealizing and realism.
What role does idealization of partners play in sustaining or distorting attraction?
Idealization of partners can play a significant role in both sustaining and distorting attraction. On one hand, it can contribute to the formation of enduring love by reinforcing positive attributes about the partner that may be emphasized during the initial stages of courtship, such as being kind, caring, intelligent, or attractive. It also helps individuals maintain their commitment to the relationship, even when faced with challenges and difficulties.