The impact of past sexual experiences on current relational satisfaction has been studied extensively, but the role of ex-partners' involvement remains largely under-researched. This study aimed to explore how the frequency and nature of sexual contact with former partners affects individual wellbeing, relational satisfaction, and sexual fantasy scripts. One hundred participants completed an online survey comprising demographic measures, the Brief Relationship Assessment Scale (BRAS), the Sexual Excitation/Sexual Inhibition Scales (SES/SI), the Sexual Fantasy Questionnaire (SFQ), and measures of past sexual encounters with ex-partners. Results indicated that greater sexual involvement with ex-partners was associated with lower relationship satisfaction, increased sexual excitation and inhibition, and altered sexual fantasy scripts.
These associations were stronger for individuals who perceived their ex-partner as more attractive or had experienced conflict during their breakup. Implications for therapy are discussed, including the potential value of focusing on sexual boundaries and exploring the impact of past relationships on present ones.
Research questions
In what ways do past sexual interactions with ex-partners influence current emotional boundaries?
What is the impact of past sexual contacts on current relational satisfaction?
How does engaging in sexual activity with ex-partners shape one's sexual fantasies?
The present research sought to examine the effects of past sexual encounters with ex-partners on current relational satisfaction, sexual arousal, and sexual fantasy scripts. Specifically, we hypothesized that greater sexual involvement with ex-partners would be associated with lower relationship satisfaction, greater sexual arousal, and altered sexual fantasy scripts.
We predicted that the strength of these associations would be moderated by perceptions of ex-partner attractiveness and whether they had been the initiator of the breakup.
Participants
One hundred individuals (51% female) completed an online survey comprising demographic measures, the Brief Relationship Assessment Scale (BRAS), Sexual Excitation/Sexual Inhibition Scales (SES/SI), and the Sexual Fantasy Questionnaire (SFQ). All participants reported being heterosexual and currently involved in a romantic relationship of at least six months duration.
Measures
The BRAS assesses the overall quality of a romantic relationship based on variables such as trust, commitment, passion, intimacy, and affection. The SES/SI measures respondents' attitudes towards sex and their tendency to experience excitatory or inhibitory responses during erotic situations. The SFQ is a widely used measure of sexual fantasies, consisting of four subscales: novelty, variety, control, and intensity.
Results
Results indicated that greater sexual involvement with ex-partners was significantly associated with lower relationship satisfaction, increased levels of sexual excitation and inhibition, and altered sexual fantasy scripts. Specifically, individuals who engaged in more frequent sexual contact with ex-partners reported less satisfying relationships, higher arousal, and more unconventional sexual fantasies involving their current partner. These associations were stronger for those who perceived their ex-partner as highly attractive or had been involved in conflict during their breakup.
These findings suggest that past sexual experiences can shape present relational outcomes, particularly when they involve emotionally charged partners. Therapists may benefit from exploring clients' sexual histories and helping them establish clear boundaries around former relationships. By examining how these interactions influence emotional wellbeing and sexuality, therapy can support healthy relational development and enhance individual happiness. Future research should investigate additional factors contributing to these effects, including the impact of length and context of prior relationships.
How do sexual interactions with ex-partners influence emotional boundaries, fantasies, and current relational satisfaction?
Research suggests that sexual interactions with ex-partners can have both positive and negative effects on individuals' emotional boundaries, fantasies, and current relational satisfaction. On one hand, engaging in sex with an ex may help individuals rekindle past intimacy, resolve unfinished business, or satisfy unmet sexual needs.