The psychological effects of warfare have been widely studied in the literature, but less attention has been paid to how repeated deployments impact couples' intimate relationships. In this article, we will explore how repeated deployment shapes the formation of relational rituals and emotional habits between partners.
Before diving into the research, it is important to understand what a relational ritual is. Relational rituals are regular actions or behaviors that couples engage in together, such as holding hands, kissing, or sharing a bedroom. These rituals serve multiple purposes, including expressing love, connection, affection, and commitment. They can also create an emotional rhythm for the relationship, helping partners to feel grounded and secure even when apart.
They can also become routine and lose their meaning, which may lead to feelings of boredom or dissatisfaction.
One study examined the role of relational rituals in military couples before, during, and after deployment. The results showed that couples who engaged in more relational rituals before deployment felt more connected and secure during deployment. This suggests that these rituals can help prevent distance and disconnection from arising.
Another study found that military spouses who participated in more relational rituals reported higher levels of marital satisfaction and lower levels of stress compared to those who did not.
They were better able to cope with their partner's absence and separation anxiety. This indicates that relational rituals play a significant role in maintaining strong relationships despite prolonged separations.
Some studies have suggested that too many relational rituals may be problematic. One study found that couples who engaged in more rituals were less satisfied with their sex lives, perhaps because the intimacy is already expressed through these rituals. Another study found that couples who relied on relational rituals had lower self-esteem and greater relationship conflict than those who did not.
This highlights the importance of balance in relational rituals. Couples should engage in relational rituals that are meaningful and consistent but avoid becoming so reliant on them that they lose their effectiveness.
So how does repeated deployment impact this dynamic? Research has shown that couples who experience multiple deployments tend to develop emotional habits that support coping with prolonged separations.
One study found that military partners developed a "coping cycle" wherein they would worry about their partner's safety, express concern to family and friends, and then find ways to feel closer together (such as sharing photos or videos). These behaviors became routine over time and helped couples to manage difficult situations.
Repeated deployments can also lead to changes in communication styles and routines. Military couples often develop a "deployment script," which includes regular check-ins and updates. While this can help keep partners connected during separation, it can also become rote and insincere if not approached intentionally.
Repeated deployment shapes the formation of relational rituals and emotional habits between couples by creating new patterns of behavior, reinforcing existing ones, and requiring adjustments to maintain intimacy despite extended absences. The effects of deployment on these aspects of relationships must be carefully considered when counseling military couples.
How does repeated deployment shape the formation of relational rituals and emotional habits in couples?
The experience of repeated deployments can have a profound impact on how military couples communicate and interact with each other. Over time, these experiences create unique patterns of communication and ways of showing affection that become routine and expected in their relationship. These routines and habits are known as "relational rituals," and they can be very difficult for military families to break away from even after their partner returns home.