When soldiers return from war, they often experience significant changes in their emotions and behaviors, which can be challenging for their partners to understand and respond to. Partners may need to adjust to these shifts in order to maintain healthy and satisfying relationships with their loved ones. This is particularly true when it comes to issues related to sex, sexuality, intimacy, and romance.
Some veterans may struggle with feelings of guilt, shame, or embarrassment about their experiences during deployment, leading them to withdraw from physical contact or reject their partner's advances. Others may become more impulsive or aggressive, acting out in ways that are unexpected or even frightening. In addition, many returning soldiers suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which can cause hypervigilance, startle responses, nightmares, flashbacks, and other symptoms that interfere with daily life and interpersonal relationships. These difficulties can take a heavy toll on both the soldier and his/her partner, who may feel frustrated, isolated, and confused.
There are strategies that partners can employ to help themselves and their loved ones cope with these changes and find new sources of connection and support.
Understanding the Soldier's Emotional Needs
To begin adapting to a returning soldier's changing needs, it is essential to develop an empathetic understanding of what they have been through. This means taking time to listen actively, without judgment or criticism, as they share their stories and emotions. It also involves showing patience and flexibility, recognizing that healing takes time and cannot be rushed. Some veterans may benefit from counseling or therapy, either individually or as a couple, while others may prefer to talk only among friends or family members. It is important not to force the soldier to open up or "get over" their struggles but rather create a safe space where they can express themselves fully and honestly.
Adapting Sexual Practices
Sexual intimacy can be especially challenging for returning soldiers, who may feel disconnected from their bodies or uncomfortable with physical contact. In some cases, this may lead to a complete loss of interest in sex, while in others, the opposite may occur. Partners should strive to remain patient, understanding, and non-judgmental, avoiding pressure or guilt tactics. Instead, they can suggest alternative ways to connect physically, such as cuddling, massage, or gentle touching. It may take time for both parties to regain comfort and trust in each other's bodies, so it is crucial to be patient and persistent without pushing too hard. Communication is key here - partners should discuss any concerns or desires openly and work together to find solutions that work for both of them.
Supporting Emotional Growth
As the soldier recovers from deployment, it is essential to provide ongoing support and encouragement. This means being there when needed, offering emotional support and practical help, and helping him/her pursue personal goals and interests.
Partners can offer to attend therapy sessions or join community groups designed to support veterans and their families. They can also encourage the soldier to engage in activities that promote self-care, such as exercise, meditation, or art therapy. By supporting these efforts, partners demonstrate their commitment to their loved one's wellbeing and show that they are willing to invest in his/her future success.
Finding New Ways to Connect
Returning soldiers may struggle to find new sources of connection and intimacy after leaving behind old friends and experiences. Partners can assist by introducing them to new hobbies, social circles, or romantic prospects that appeal to them. They can also plan regular dates and outings, showing that they care about the person beyond just their military service.
Partners should make sure to keep up with their own lives and interests, maintaining a healthy sense of independence and self-sufficiency while still prioritizing time with their loved ones. By taking these steps, partners can adapt to their soldier's evolving needs and foster resilience, healing, and happiness long into the future.
How do partners adapt to the evolving emotional needs of returning soldiers?
Returning soldiers are often faced with various challenges that affect their mental health and relationships. The most common adjustment issues include reintegrating into civilian life after experiencing trauma, managing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, anger, substance abuse, and intimacy problems. Partners must be emotionally supportive by providing understanding and acceptance while listening actively to their soldier's feelings and concerns.