Touch is one of the most important ways for human beings to communicate with each other. It is through touch that people express love, affection, attraction, trust, and emotional closeness.
Many veterans experience difficulties in this area due to their unique experiences during military service. Prolonged separation from loved ones, constant stress, traumatic events, and dangerous situations may have made touch an uncomfortable or even threatening thing for them. This can make it difficult to connect with their partners after returning home, which can lead to relationship problems and even divorce. In this article, I will explore how veterans make meaning of physical contact after prolonged periods when it was either scarce, regulated, or associated with danger.
How Veterans Make Meaning of Intimate Touch After Military Service
Veterans often struggle with intimacy and physical touch due to their trauma and experiences during military service. They may feel anxiety, fear, or disgust when they are touched, making it hard to connect physically with their partner. Some veterans may also have difficulty initiating physical contact because they were taught to suppress their feelings while serving. To overcome these challenges, veterans need to find a way to re-associate touch with positive experiences and learn to trust again.
One way veterans can do this is by engaging in sensory exercises with their partner. These involve gradually introducing different types of touch, such as light strokes, handholding, hugs, and kisses, without any pressure to progress to more intimate activities. The goal is to help the veteran's body become comfortable with touch again and slowly build up to full sexual intimacy over time. It is important to take things at the veteran's pace and avoid pushing too quickly, so that they do not feel overwhelmed.
Another strategy is to communicate openly about one's needs and desires regarding physical touch. This means being honest with your partner about what you want and don't want, and why.
If you don't enjoy certain types of touch or movements, explain how it makes you feel and ask for alternative ways to express intimacy. It is also important to be respectful of your partner's boundaries and give them space to set their own limits.
Seeking professional help from a therapist specializing in trauma recovery can be beneficial for veterans struggling with intimacy issues. A trained therapist can work with both partners to identify underlying causes of intimacy problems and develop strategies to improve communication and connection. They may use techniques like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) to help process past experiences and create new associations with touch.
Returning home from military service can bring many challenges for veterans, including difficulties with intimacy and physical touch.
By engaging in sensory exercises, communicating openly, and seeking professional help when necessary, veterans can learn to reconnect with their partners through physical contact. With patience, understanding, and compassion, couples can overcome these obstacles and build healthy, fulfilling relationships after service.
How do veterans make meaning of intimate touch after prolonged periods during which physical contact was either scarce, regulated, or associated with danger?
Touch is an important way for humans to communicate feelings of love and affection. Veterans may find it difficult to connect with their partners through touch after prolonged separation due to deployment or combat experiences that have affected their ability to feel secure and comfortable around others. They may need time to relearn how to express themselves physically, and they may benefit from open communication about any fears or anxieties related to touch.