When it comes to relationships, there are many different ways that partners can adjust their behavior in order to accommodate each other's needs.
What happens when one partner has experienced trauma that makes them focus more on their own safety and well-being rather than on the relationship itself? This is a common issue for veterans who have been through combat situations, and can cause major difficulties within their relationships if left unaddressed. In this article, we will explore how partners can adapt when the veteran's trauma shifts relational priorities from romantic closeness to emotional survival.
It is important to understand why this shift occurs in the first place. When someone experiences trauma, they may develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which can manifest as intrusive thoughts, nightmares, hypervigilance, avoidance behaviors, and feeling constantly on edge. These symptoms can interfere with everyday life, including romantic relationships. The veteran may become more distant or even aggressive towards their partner, making it difficult to maintain intimacy and connection. They may also be less interested in sex, which can lead to feelings of rejection by their partner.
To address these issues, the partner must take an active role in helping the veteran cope with their PTSD. One way to do this is to create a safe space for open communication. This means creating a supportive environment where the veteran feels comfortable talking about their feelings without judgment or criticism. It is also important to listen actively and validate their experiences. This can help the veteran feel heard and understood, which can reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Another strategy that can be helpful is practicing self-care together. This could involve engaging in activities like yoga, meditation, or exercise that promote relaxation and reduce stress levels. It could also mean setting boundaries around work, social media use, or other distractions that might get in the way of spending quality time together. By working together to prioritize each other's needs and well-being, partners can build a strong foundation for their relationship despite the challenges posed by PTSD.
Of course, no two couples are alike, so what works for one couple may not work for another. Some strategies that have been shown to be effective include sharing responsibilities, such as cooking meals or household chores, rather than expecting one person to carry all of the load. Other couples find success through regular date nights, vacations, or other special activities designed to strengthen their bond outside of everyday life. Whatever approach is chosen, it is essential to remember that relationships require ongoing effort and commitment from both partners in order to thrive.
It is crucial to seek professional help when needed. A therapist trained in trauma-informed care can provide valuable guidance and support for both partners as they navigate the challenges of living with PTSD. They can offer tools and strategies for managing symptoms, as well as identify areas where partners need additional support.
Individual counseling can help each partner process their own feelings and experiences related to the veteran's PTSD, which can lead to greater understanding and empathy between them.
Partners who want to maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship with someone experiencing PTSD must be willing to adapt their behavior and approach to accommodate new priorities. By creating a safe space for communication, practicing self-care together, seeking professional help, and finding ways to stay connected outside of everyday routines, partners can build a strong foundation despite the challenges posed by PTSD. While this journey will undoubtedly involve ups and downs, with patience, understanding, and dedication, couples can learn to navigate these challenges and come out stronger on the other side.
How do partners adapt when the veteran's trauma shifts relational priorities, making emotional survival more salient than romantic closeness?
Certainly, there is no single universal approach that applies to all veterans and their relationships; however, research has shown that many couples report feeling isolated from one another due to the unique demands of military service on both individuals' lives. As such, it may become increasingly challenging for partners to maintain intimacy and affection while attempting to meet each other's needs during times of crisis (e. g. , deployment).