Intimacy is a deep and close relationship between people that involves physical and emotional closeness, sharing feelings and experiences, and often leading to sexual activity. For many people, it provides a sense of connection, comfort, security, and belonging.
Some individuals may use intimacy as a way to avoid or escape from difficult emotions and experiences such as fear, sadness, or trauma. In this article, I will explore how veterans can develop emotional consequences when using intimacy as a means to cope with their post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms, which are a common result of military service.
Let's understand what PTSD is and why it affects so many veterans. PTSD is a mental health condition that can occur after experiencing or witnessing a life-threatening event like combat, violence, natural disasters, accidents, or sexual assault. It manifests through symptoms such as nightmares, flashbacks, anxiety, hypervigilance, irritability, difficulty sleeping, anger outbursts, and isolation. These symptoms can be debilitating and make everyday life challenging for those who suffer from them.
Some veterans turn to intimacy as a way to escape these painful feelings. They may seek relationships that provide an immediate sense of comfort and safety, without having to confront their underlying issues.
This approach has several drawbacks. First, it doesn't address the root cause of the problem, meaning that the person remains vulnerable to relapse into negative emotions. Second, the partner may not know about the veteran's history and can be overwhelmed by their needs and behaviors. Third, intimacy alone cannot heal the emotional wounds caused by trauma. This behavior may lead to further emotional instability, relationship problems, and even self-destructive actions.
One example of how veterans use intimacy as a coping mechanism is through promiscuity or engaging in multiple casual relationships. Veterans with PTSD may feel a need for constant validation and attention, which they try to fulfill through short-term hookups or one-night stands. While this may temporarily relieve their insecurities and fears, it also creates more emotional turmoil and prevents long-term healing. Another example is using intimacy as a form of distraction.
Some veterans may become workaholics or immerse themselves in activities like gaming or drinking to avoid dealing with their emotions. In these cases, intimacy becomes a means to numb feelings rather than a healthy expression of love and connection.
Intimacy can become addictive for those who are used to escaping through it. They may develop unhealthy patterns where they seek intense physical experiences to feel alive and connected.
This approach can damage their personal lives, leading to broken relationships, financial difficulties, and other social issues.
While intimacy can provide comfort and relief, using it as an escape from negative feelings has serious consequences. Veterans should explore alternative ways to manage their symptoms such as therapy, support groups, mindfulness practices, exercise, or creative outlets. By facing their trauma head-on and developing healthier coping strategies, they can lead happier and more fulfilling lives.
What emotional consequences follow when the veteran uses intimacy as a way to escape or numb traumatic feelings?
When veterans resort to intimacy as an escape from trauma, they may experience increased anxiety and depression. This can be caused by feeling isolated from others due to their need for intimate relationships that are not fully developed yet. Additionally, their dependency on intimacy may lead to codependency with partners who may not support them emotionally.