Sexual script is defined as the set of rules governing social interactions between individuals engaged in sexual activity. It includes expectations about behavior and feelings during foreplay and intercourse, communication styles and patterns, and role-plays that partners may enact. Relational scripts are similar to sexual ones but involve more aspects of daily life like friendships, romantic relationships, and family dynamics. They describe how people interact within these contexts, what they say and do, and when and where they engage in different behaviors. Trauma can alter both relational and sexual scripts, making them difficult for veterans to follow. This article explores how traumatized individuals adapt their relational and sexual scripts to accommodate their new emotional responsiveness.
The first thing to understand about relational scripts is that they are learned early in childhood through observation and modeling from parents, siblings, peers, and other significant figures. These scripts become internalized and guide interactions throughout life.
If someone grows up watching their father dominate conversations and women deferring to him, they might learn to be assertive themselves while expecting others to respect their authority.
After a traumatic experience, such as combat, this script may no longer work. The person may find it difficult to initiate conversations or take charge because they have lost confidence in their abilities or fear retaliation from others. Veterans may also struggle with intimacy because they were taught to keep their feelings hidden and suppressed growing up. As a result, they may appear cold or distant during dates, which can turn off potential partners.
Sexual scripts must be adapted following trauma. Many vets suffer from PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), which affects arousal and desire levels. They may feel anxious or uncomfortable around their partner due to memories of past experiences, leading to difficulties initiating sex or becoming disinterested midway through the act. In addition, they may have trouble maintaining erections or orgasms due to heightened sensitivity caused by the condition. Relationships between veterans with PTSD can be strained due to these issues since they cannot communicate effectively what they want or need from each other.
To accommodate relational and sexual scripts, veterans can try different strategies. One is to practice self-awareness and mindfulness meditation to gain control over their emotions and responses. By observing how they feel and why, they can identify patterns that lead them astray and make conscious choices about behavior instead of acting on impulse. Another strategy involves seeking professional help from psychologists or therapists who understand PTSD's impact on relationships and sex lives. These experts can teach coping mechanisms like grounding techniques and relaxation exercises to manage anxiety during intimate moments. Veterans should also consider working with couples counselors who specialize in helping those affected by trauma build stronger connections.
Open communication within the relationship is essential for adapting scripts to meet both partners' needs - this means sharing feelings honestly without judgment or expectation.
How do veterans adapt relational and sexual scripts to accommodate trauma-altered emotional responsiveness?
Veterans who have experienced traumatic events while serving their country may find it challenging to adjust their relational and sexual scripts to account for changes in emotional responsiveness caused by the trauma. This can include difficulty communicating feelings effectively, maintaining intimacy with partners, and experiencing pleasure during sex.