Couples who have experienced trauma can find it difficult to rebuild trust and intimacy in their relationship. To help them heal from this trauma, they may turn to creating new relational rituals that allow them to build safety and connection again. These rituals can range from small gestures like holding hands or giving hugs to more elaborate activities like going on dates or engaging in sexual play. By establishing these regular routines, couples can begin to recreate feelings of security and closeness, which is essential for healthy relationships.
One example of a relational ritual is a daily check-in where partners share how they're feeling and what they need from each other. This can be done in person or through text messages, but the important thing is to make sure both partners are committed to participating. It helps create a sense of emotional safety because it allows each partner to express themselves without fear of judgment or criticism. Another example is a date night where couples go out together once a week and focus solely on spending time with each other. Dates can be anything from dinner and a movie to an adventure activity like rock climbing or zip lining. The key is to do something that brings joy and excitement back into the relationship.
Another type of relational ritual is sexual play. For couples who have been through trauma, this can be especially important as it helps restore physical intimacy. Couples can try role-playing, using sex toys, or exploring different positions and techniques to bring variety into their bedroom life. It's also crucial to communicate about boundaries and expectations beforehand so that everyone feels comfortable and safe during intimate moments.
Some couples find comfort in creating shared goals and projects together. This might mean working on a home improvement project or planning a vacation. Doing things side by side builds trust and connection as partners work towards common objectives.
It creates opportunities for laughter, fun, and bonding experiences.
Co-creating relational rituals after trauma is an essential way for couples to rebuild intimacy and security. By engaging in these regular activities, they can establish a new normal that supports healthy relationships moving forward.
In what ways do couples co-create relational rituals to restore safety and intimacy after trauma?
Relationships can be deeply affected by past experiences of traumatic events, such as childhood abuse or neglect, violence, accidents, natural disasters, war, sexual assault, and other forms of interpersonal trauma. When individuals enter into romantic partnerships with each other, they may bring along a history of fear, pain, and distrust, which can make it challenging for them to feel safe and connected.