People who have experienced traumatic events often find it difficult to regulate their emotions due to heightened sensitivity, mood swings, anxiety, depression, and more. This can make sexual intimacy challenging for both partners.
Research has shown that with open communication, patience, creativity, and willingness to learn from each other's experiences, couples can adapt their sexual scripts to accommodate these changes.
Adaptation through communication
Communicating about one's needs, desires, boundaries, triggers, and expectations is key to successful adaptation of sexual scripts. One partner might need extra reassurance or physical contact before engaging in sexual activity, while another may struggle with feelings of vulnerability during intimate moments. Open dialogue between partners can help identify such issues and explore solutions together.
One partner might ask for hugs or hand-holding before initiating sex as a way to ease into the experience. Another partner might express their desire for less physical touch outside of sexual encounters but still want to maintain an emotionally close relationship. By working together, couples can create new patterns of interaction that work best for them.
New activities
Partners can also try new activities that are not necessarily sexual to build trust and intimacy.
Taking walks together, cooking meals, sharing stories, playing games, or simply cuddling can all be ways to strengthen emotional connections without pressure to perform sexually. These actions can help establish healthy emotional bonds without triggering negative memories associated with trauma. They can also provide a foundation upon which sexual activities can be built later on.
Exploration of sensory stimuli
Another strategy is exploring different types of sensory stimulation, including sound, smell, taste, sight, and touch. This can include incorporating sensual elements like candles, music, massage oils, body lotions, or scented soaps into sexual encounters. It could also involve experimenting with different positions, locations, or props (e.g., pillows, blankets) to enhance sensory experiences. Partners can take turns leading these explorations, giving each other space to guide what feels good and comfortable while being open to trying something new.
In what ways do couples adapt sexual scripts to accommodate trauma-induced emotional unpredictability?
Research suggests that when individuals have experienced trauma, they may experience fear and anxiety during intimate encounters which can lead to difficulties with sexual scripts. One way that couples may attempt to accommodate this is by using open communication and being flexible in their approach to sexual activity.