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HOW TRAUMA CAN AFFECT MILITARY INTIMACY: BREAKING DOWN BOUNDARIES THROUGH SHARED EXPERIENCES.

What is Trauma?

Trauma can be defined as an emotional response to a terrifying event that causes physical, mental, and psychological harm. It involves experiences such as accidents, natural disasters, war, terrorist attacks, sexual assault, domestic violence, childhood abuse, neglect, and other extreme life events that cause a person to feel helpless, vulnerable, and out of control. Traumatic experiences are often accompanied by feelings of fear, shock, confusion, guilt, shame, anger, sadness, and isolation, which can lead to long-term effects like posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, and hypervigilance.

Military Intimate Relationships

Military intimate relationships refer to romantic, platonic, and familial connections between people who have served or currently serve in the military. These relationships may involve spouses, partners, children, parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, subordinates, commanders, or civilians. They are characterized by shared experiences of deployment, separation, reunion, transition, loss, and trauma, which can shape individuals' perceptions of fidelity, loyalty, and moral responsibility.

Reshaping Perceptions of Fidelity

Trauma can alter a person's beliefs about trust, betrayal, commitment, and infidelity. Individuals with PTSD may become suspicious of their partner's motives, actions, and intentions, leading them to question whether they can be trusted or rely on each other for support during difficult times. This uncertainty and distrust can strain relationships and make it challenging to maintain intimacy and closeness.

Military service members who experience combat or witness death and destruction may feel guilty for surviving when others did not, leading them to question their loyalty to themselves and their loved ones. They may struggle with feelings of guilt and shame and wonder if they deserve happiness after seeing such horrors. These emotions can create distance between couples and impact their ability to communicate openly and honestly.

Moral Responsibility

Traumatic events can also challenge one's sense of morality and ethics, as individuals may question what is right or wrong, good or bad, just or unjust. Military service members who have participated in war crimes, torture, or other immoral acts may struggle with remorse, regret, and self-blame, feeling that they no longer fit into society or belong with those who follow traditional values. This disconnect can cause conflict within families, friendships, and communities and impact mental health and well-being.

Trauma can reshape perceptions of fidelity, loyalty, and moral responsibility in military intimate relationships by creating uncertainty, doubt, guilt, shame, and confusion. It is essential to acknowledge the effects of trauma and provide support and resources for individuals struggling with its consequences. Couples should prioritize communication, honesty, empathy, and understanding to build trust, strengthen bonds, and foster resilience in the face of adversity.

How does trauma reshape perceptions of fidelity, loyalty, and moral responsibility in military intimate relationships?

Traumatic experiences can have long-lasting effects on the way people perceive fidelity, loyalty, and moral responsibility in intimate relationships. These changes may be particularly significant for individuals who serve in the military, as they are often exposed to intense and unpredictable situations that can lead to physical and mental trauma. One common effect is hypervigilance, which refers to an increased sensitivity to potential threats and danger signals.

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