There are three main ways that trauma can disrupt ability to sustain desire over time. First, people who have experienced trauma may feel detached from their bodies and emotions, which can make it difficult to connect with another person physically and emotionally. This can lead to a lack of motivation and interest in sex. Second, trauma can cause flashbacks or intrusive memories during sex, making it difficult to stay present and engaged in the moment. Third, trauma can damage trust, causing people to fear intimate connections and avoid them altogether.
Detachment
Trauma can leave people feeling disconnected from themselves and others. This can manifest in many ways, including difficulty connecting with one's body and feelings. People who experience this type of detachment may feel numb or dissociated during sex, which can make it hard to enjoy physical sensations or find pleasure. They may also struggle to engage emotionally with their partner, leading to a lack of interest and motivation to pursue intimacy.
Flashbacks and Intrusive Memories
When someone experiences trauma, they may be triggered by certain events, sights, sounds, smells, or other reminders of the traumatic event. These triggers can happen at any time, even during sexual encounters. The resulting anxiety or distress can interrupt arousal and engagement, making it difficult to maintain desire over time. Flashbacks and intrusive memories can also interfere with mental focus and concentration during sex, further undermining desire.
Lack of Trust
When someone has been betrayed or hurt by someone they trusted, it is natural to have a sense of mistrust toward future partners. This can lead to a general reluctance to get close or intimate, even if the new relationship is healthy and supportive.
This fear of intimacy can become entrenched, making it harder to sustain desire for someone else. It can be particularly challenging when there are multiple instances of betrayal or abuse, as trust becomes increasingly fragile.
How does trauma disrupt ability to sustain desire over time?
The experience of trauma can lead to a profound alteration of one's sense of self-worth, which may affect one's capacity to cultivate and maintain desire over time. Traumatic experiences often involve betrayal of trust, shame, powerlessness, and helplessness, and these feelings can create a deep sense of mistrust and fear that may extend into future relationships and interactions.