Despite popular belief that sexual desire decreases after marriage or cohabitation, studies have shown that there are several ways to keep it alive and well for decades, such as frequent communication, physical intimacy, novelty seeking, and emotional closeness. In this article, I will explore how long-term partners can sustain their libido and stay connected through the years.
Keeping Sexual Desire Alive: Frequent Communication
To maintain sexual desire, couples should communicate about their needs, fantasies, desires, fears, and expectations, which leads to greater satisfaction and fulfillment in the bedroom. According to a study published in the Journal of Sex Research, couples who talk about their sexual relationship reported higher levels of overall sexual satisfaction compared to those who did not. This suggests that open dialogue is essential for a healthy sex life.
Physical Intimacy Beyond Intercourse
Physical intimacy encompasses more than just intercourse. Couples can engage in sensual touching, cuddling, kissing, caressing, or massages to enhance arousal and pleasure without penetrative sex. These activities promote bonding and intimacy, leading to stronger feelings of connection and attraction.
A survey conducted by the National Opinion Research Center found that couples who engaged in non-penetrative behaviors had higher levels of sexual interest compared to those who only had intercourse.
Novelty Seeking
Novelty seeking involves trying new things in the bedroom, whether it's different positions, toys, or locations. Studies show that couples who seek novelty tend to have more satisfying relationships, including increased sexual desire and performance. Experimenting with each other keeps things exciting and fresh, making sex more enjoyable over time.
Emotional Closeness
Emotional closeness is crucial for maintaining long-term attraction and desire. It means sharing emotions, vulnerability, and experiences together, which leads to greater trust, respect, and understanding. A study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that couples who felt emotionally connected had better sexual functioning and satisfaction than those who lacked this closeness.
There are several ways to sustain sexual desire throughout many years of partnership, such as frequent communication, physical intimacy beyond intercourse, novelty seeking, and emotional closeness. By prioritizing these factors, couples can continue to experience fulfilling and passionate sex well into their later years.
How do long-term partners maintain sexual attraction, and what psychological variables predict sustained desire across many years?
The long-term partners who experience satisfaction with their relationship report high levels of emotional intimacy, mutual understanding, open communication, trust, and commitment (Sprecher & Felmlee, 2009). These are crucial factors for sexual attraction and desire, as well as maintaining sexual satisfaction.