Many people enjoy playing out their fantasies of dominance and submission in bed. But what about when they're done having sex and have to deal with each other IRL? Can a successful BDSM relationship be more than just a game?
Here are some factors that can contribute to whether your power play will sustain itself outside the bedroom:
1) Trust - Dominant and submissive roles require trusting one another completely. If you don't feel safe enough to submit to someone who might hurt you accidentally or intentionally, then it won't work long term. You need to know your partner has your best interests at heart.
2) Communication - Being able to communicate effectively is crucial for maintaining any healthy relationship, but especially important for dominant/submissive ones. Your partner needs to understand exactly what you want them to do and vice versa. Make sure everyone involved knows how to give and receive clear instructions.
3) Mutual respect - It's hard to submit if you don't respect your partner as a person or leader. Equally, if you want to dominate, you must treat your partner like an equal human being rather than a servant or property. There should be no degradation or humiliation involved unless both parties consent to it.
4) Flexibility - A good sub should be able to change gears quickly and follow orders without questioning them too much (for example, changing from "No" to "Yes"). The dominant must also accept this flexibility while still keeping their authority intact.
5) Consent - Without explicit consent, there can be no true power exchange. Both partners should agree on the type of activities they enjoy and boundaries before engaging in any BDSM activities.
6) Pacing - Don't rush into anything; take things slowly until you figure out whether your partner is really into it and how far they're willing to go. Start with small steps such as light bondage or spanking instead of jumping straight into flogging or choking.
7) Safety - Always prioritize safety first! Use safe words, never use weapons or restraints unless you know what you're doing, and ensure that the environment is free of hazards.
8) Aftercare - Take time after every play session to talk about what worked well for each other and make adjustments accordingly. Aftercare doesn't just apply to sadomasochism either – all relationships benefit from it.
9) Time off - Dominant/submissive dynamics aren't always easy or fun all the time. It can lead to arguments and emotional strain, so don't forget to give each other some space when needed.
10) Understanding - Remember that BDSM isn't for everyone and not everything works for everybody. Be open-minded to trying different things and accepting feedback from each other along the way.
A healthy relationship requires mutual respect, trust, communication, patience, understanding, and commitment to self-improvement. If both parties are committed to these principles, then a D/s dynamic can bring a lot of pleasure and intimacy into the bedroom (and beyond).
How do dominant-submissive dynamics correlate with overall relationship fulfillment?
"The power dynamic between partners has been studied extensively in various academic fields as it relates to interpersonal relationships. In fact, some studies have shown that there is no definitive link between dominance and subordination and relationship satisfaction.