Individuals experience an emotional dilemma when their sexual desires do not match with their relationship goals or expectations, leading to a state of emotional dissonance. This phenomenon is known as the "discrepancy model" and has been studied extensively in psychological research. It involves a person's inability to reconcile the differences between their sexual and romantic lives, resulting in feelings of guilt, shame, confusion, anxiety, and dissatisfaction. The article aims to examine how individuals respond to this situation and explore possible solutions that can help them navigate it effectively.
Cognitive approach
One way individuals deal with emotional dissonance is by rationalizing their behavior through cognitive strategies. They may justify their actions by blaming their partner for being unattractive, uninterested, or boring. They might also rationalize their behavior by thinking they are entitled to seek satisfaction elsewhere if their partners cannot provide it. Some people may even believe that monogamy is outdated and unnecessary, allowing themselves to engage in extramarital affairs without feeling guilty.
These approaches often lead to further distress and strain in the relationship.
Behavioral approach
Another response is to change one's behavior to align with what society expects from a relationship. Individuals may suppress their sexual needs and focus on meeting their partners' needs instead. They may try to avoid situations where they feel tempted to stray, such as attending parties or going on business trips alone. They may also increase communication and intimacy within the relationship to improve overall connection and fulfillment. While this approach can be effective in the short term, it does not address the root cause of the problem and can lead to resentment and frustration over time.
Emotional approach
Some individuals may choose an emotional response to cope with the discrepancy model. They may become more open and honest about their sexual desires, seeking support and validation from their partners. This can create a safe space for communication and negotiation, leading to mutual understanding and compromise. Others may explore alternative forms of eroticism, such as role-playing or fetishization, which allow them to satisfy their urges while remaining faithful to their partner. Still, others may seek professional help to understand and manage their feelings.
Resolving emotional dissonance
Resolving emotional dissonance requires open communication, self-reflection, and willingness to change behaviors. It is crucial for couples to work together to identify their individual needs and find common ground that meets both partners' expectations. Open communication allows for greater transparency and trust, leading to increased satisfaction and fulfillment in all areas of life. By exploring alternative approaches to sex and relationships, individuals can navigate the challenges of emotional dissonance and build stronger, healthier bonds.
How do individuals respond to the emotional dissonance that arises when sexual satisfaction does not align with relational satisfaction?
When individuals experience emotional dissonance between their sexual satisfaction and relational satisfaction, they may struggle to reconcile their feelings of love for their partner and their desire for physical intimacy. This can lead to feelings of confusion, frustration, and anxiety. Some individuals may try to suppress these feelings or avoid them altogether by engaging in extramarital affairs or other risky behaviors, while others may attempt to communicate openly with their partner about their needs and desires.