Relational cohesion is the bond that unites two people who are involved in a relationship. When a couple has been together for some time, they tend to create a strong bond between them which makes them feel connected even if they are apart. This connection becomes stronger when they have great sexual intimacy. Trauma can disrupt this connection because it damages their ability to communicate effectively and share emotions with each other. Sexual intimacy also gets affected as trauma causes anxiety and stress which affects libido. But there are ways through which partners can maintain relational cohesion despite the damage caused by trauma.
1. Communication
In a healthy relationship, communication is essential.
Trauma can make communication difficult as it changes how individuals think, feel, and behave. Partners should try to keep talking about their feelings and thoughts so they understand each other's perspective. They should encourage openness and honesty. They should not judge each other but be willing to listen without interrupting or dismissing one another's concerns. They should work on active listening skills and give equal attention to both themselves and their partner. This will help them build trust, empathy, respect, and understanding between each other.
2. Therapy
When trauma causes problems within a relationship, it is vital to seek professional help from a therapist. A therapist helps couples develop healthy communication strategies and provides tools to improve their sexual engagement. It allows partners to discuss issues that prevent them from being close sexually. The therapist works with partners to overcome negative patterns of behavior in bedrooms. It also helps them identify their triggers and avoid situations that cause distress. The therapist teaches partners how to express themselves and manage anger and frustration without getting aggressive towards each other. These sessions can strengthen the couple's bond and enhance their sexual connection.
3. Physical Touch
Physical touch is another way through which partners can maintain relational cohesion when trauma disrupts communication and sexual engagement. It makes people feel loved and wanted regardless of what they are going through emotionally. Partners can hug, kiss, cuddle, hold hands, etc., to stay connected physically even if they don't want to have sex. This helps them release oxytocin, known as the love hormone, which promotes emotional intimacy. When there is physical contact, partners feel more relaxed and comfortable opening up about their thoughts and feelings. Sexual intimacy becomes less pressurizing as they focus on giving and receiving pleasure instead of performance or expectations.
4. Date Nights
Date nights create space for partners to connect emotionally without any distractions or responsibilities. They take time out from their daily routines and spend quality time together doing fun activities like going out for dinner or watching a movie. During date nights, partners can talk freely about anything bothering them without feeling judged by one another. They can discuss their hopes, dreams, fears, and desires without any pressure to act upon them immediately. Date nights provide an opportunity for couples to reconnect with each other after a stressful day or week at work.
5. Self-care
Traumatic experiences affect individuals differently, but it is essential to practice self-care regularly. Partners should make time for themselves by doing activities that help reduce stress and anxiety levels. Meditation, exercise, reading books, taking long walks, practicing yoga or mindfulness, etc., are some ways to improve mental health and wellbeing. These practices promote calmness, happiness, and positivity within individuals, allowing them to approach relationships from a balanced state of mind rather than reacting impulsively due to past trauma triggers.
Relational cohesion can be maintained when partners communicate openly, seek therapy, engage in physical touch, go on dates, and prioritize self-care. Trauma disrupts communication and sexual intimacy, but these steps can help partners stay connected despite the challenges they face in their relationship.
How do partners maintain relational cohesion when trauma disrupts communication and sexual engagement?
Partners who are struggling with maintaining relational cohesion after experiencing trauma may find that there is a need for increased openness and vulnerability within their relationship. This can be achieved through regular check-ins about feelings and needs, actively listening to each other's stories, practicing empathy and understanding, and setting healthy boundaries around what is appropriate during sex and intimacy.