The sense of safety felt when being touched is often related to how well you know the toucher, their intentions, and past experiences.
Some people also feel a different kind of security when touched without knowing who it is. This can happen because they are able to pick up on subtle cues like body language, pressure, and weight through their skin. When you can tell that someone is present physically with you, even if you don't see them, this can make you feel more secure than usual. You may be more aware of your surroundings, which gives you a greater feeling of control and power. The sense of safety comes from trusting that someone else is watching out for you. It may also come from feeling protected by their presence and having more confidence in yourself and your abilities.
Many people report feeling safer when walking alone at night if they have someone nearby holding their hand or staying close behind them. Some people find comfort in sleeping next to their partner even if they aren't touching each other, as they can feel their breathing and movements throughout the night. Others describe feeling protected and safe during sex while their partner holds them down or pins them to the bed. These sensations of being held or restrained can create a sense of security and safety that is difficult to achieve otherwise.
This type of connection doesn't always work perfectly. Sometimes touch can create a false sense of safety, especially if the person isn't actually there. People can become reliant on physical touch to feel safe, leading to codependency or dependence.
Touch can sometimes make us feel vulnerable rather than secure, especially if it involves intimate areas like the breasts or genitals. In those cases, it may take time and effort to learn how to relax into the experience and let go of fears about being hurt or judged.
Knowing that someone is present through weight, breath, or pressure can enhance feelings of safety because we are able to pick up on subtle cues and recognize potential threats before they happen. This increased awareness can help us be prepared and ready to respond appropriately to any situation.
It's important not to rely too much on these sensations for our security, but instead use them as part of a broader strategy for keeping ourselves safe and healthy.
How does feeling your partner's presence through weight, breath, or pressure change your sense of safety?
The notion that physical contact creates a feeling of security is not new, but it has been shown by researchers that even subtle cues such as pressure, breath, or weight can affect one's perception of comfort and trust when it comes to relationships. In particular, partners who are familiar with each other's body language and touch tend to feel more secure when they have physical contact.