Intimate relationships are essential to human beings' psychological well-being because they provide an opportunity to connect with another person intimately, share experiences and emotions, receive support and love, and feel cared for. This bond is often considered to be one of the most rewarding aspects of life.
Building strong and healthy intimate relationships requires openness and vulnerability, including expressing emotions freely and honestly. For some people, this may seem like an easy task; however, many individuals find it difficult due to internalized military norms of emotional suppression. These norms are deeply rooted within society and can complicate the open emotional dialogue required for healthy intimacy.
Intimacy involves sharing personal thoughts, feelings, desires, and experiences. It is also about being emotionally available to each other and showing care and affection. When someone feels comfortable opening up, they allow their partner to understand them better, leading to trust, respect, and connection. Emotions are crucial components of intimacy as they enable individuals to connect with others on a deeper level.
Suppressing emotions can hinder this process by preventing partners from understanding each other fully.
Suppressing emotions can become a habitual pattern learned during childhood or adolescence. This behavior may have been influenced by parents, peers, teachers, or the media that emphasize the importance of avoiding displays of negative emotions. As a result, people develop strategies such as bottling up feelings, denying them, or even pretending everything is fine when things aren't. Unfortunately, these strategies can become automatic responses in adult relationships, making it challenging to communicate effectively with partners.
Military norms of emotional suppression create barriers to intimacy because they reinforce the idea that men should be stoic, unemotional, and self-reliant. The military lifestyle teaches soldiers not to show weakness or vulnerability, which often extends beyond the battlefield into civilian life.
Many veterans struggle to express fear or sadness due to the fear of appearing "soft" or "weak." Such attitudes can carry over to romantic relationships, where partners may feel that sharing their innermost thoughts and feelings is unnecessary or undesirable. This leads to a lack of open communication, resulting in misunderstandings, resentment, and distance between partners.
To overcome internalized military norms of emotional suppression, individuals must work towards developing healthy coping mechanisms for managing their emotions. This includes practicing mindfulness, seeking therapy, and engaging in activities that help process intense feelings like writing, painting, or exercise. They can also try exercises that encourage emotional expression, such as journaling, talking therapies, or group support. Building trust requires time, patience, and dedication. It involves being honest about one's thoughts and feelings while listening actively and empathetically to the partner's perspectives.
Internalized military norms of emotional suppression complicate the open emotional dialogue required for healthy intimacy.
With effort, it is possible to develop effective coping strategies and build strong bonds based on mutual understanding, respect, and affection.
How do internalized military norms of emotional suppression complicate the open emotional dialogue required for healthy intimacy?
Internalizing military norms of emotional suppression can lead to difficulties in expressing one's feelings in close relationships. This is because it involves training oneself to control and repress emotions, which can make it difficult to communicate vulnerably and authentically with others. In addition, the emphasis on self-discipline and strength in the military may create a sense of shame around showing weakness or neediness in interpersonal interactions.