How do you experience gender through sexuality?
Your experience of your own gender may be influenced by how you express yourself sexually. Sexual expression can include thoughts, feelings, actions, fantasies, beliefs, desires, behaviors, and identities related to romantic partners, intimacy, relationships, physical touching, sexual stimulation, pleasure, orgasm, and other aspects of sexual experiences. These things can shape how you understand your body, your mind, your personality, your role in society, and your place in life.
Sexual experience and identity are closely intertwined. Your identity as male or female might affect what kind of sexual experiences you seek out, which could then influence how you feel about yourself as a man or woman. For example, women who enjoy anal sex might feel masculine because it is considered more 'male' than vaginal penetration, even if they don't identify as men. Similarly, men who like to dress up in feminine clothes might see themselves as more sensitive or emotional, but not necessarily less 'manly'.
Gender roles in society also influence sexual expression. If society tells men that they should dominate and control their partner, some men might feel pressured to take charge during sex when they would prefer something else. Women who want to have control or experiment with power dynamics might find it difficult to fit into traditional expectations of femininity.
Hormones and genetics play a part in sexual attraction too. People born male tend to be attracted to people with high levels of testosterone, while those born female tend to respond more strongly to estrogen. Heterosexuality and homosexuality are both influenced by hormonal balance during gestation. However, many factors determine whether someone becomes hetero or homo, including culture, socialization, environment, and personal choices.
Some people believe there are only two genders (cisgender) based on biology, but this binary model doesn't account for transgender or nonbinary individuals. Transgender people identify with a gender different from the one assigned at birth, while nonbinary people reject both categories altogether. Non-binary people may experience both male and female traits, identities, desires, and expressions.
Experiencing gender through sexuality can be complex. Gender identity is about how you feel inside; sexual identity is about how you express yourself outside. Sexual orientation refers to whom we love, which can change over time. Attraction, desire, arousal, pleasure, orgasm, relationships - all these things help us understand our own sense of self and place in the world.
In conclusion, your experiences with sexuality shape your understanding of gender, and vice versa. The relationship between sex and gender can be fluid, flexible, and dynamic throughout life. We need to continue exploring these connections to promote healthy sexual expression and gender equity.