How to Communicate Unconventional Sexual Acts Clearly and Safely
Communicating about your sexual desires can be tricky for many people. However, it becomes even more complicated when you want to introduce unconventional acts into the mix. This guide will help you learn how to discuss such topics so that everyone involved is safe and satisfied.
First, choose an appropriate time and place to talk about unconventional acts. You don't want to bring up these sensitive subjects during lunch at work or in front of children, after all. Instead, create a private setting where you won't be disturbed or interrupted.
Next, explain why you're interested in trying something new. If your partner has agreed to have sex with you, they might already know what you like. Still, sharing your desire explicitly can encourage them to explore their own fantasies and build excitement. For example, if you'd like to try bondage, tell them you've always been curious about being tied up or tying someone else up.
After explaining your desires, ask your partner if they are open to exploring them. Don't assume consent; always get verbal confirmation before doing anything, regardless of prior experiences. If your partner says no, respect their decision.
If your partner agrees, set boundaries together. Talk about safety, limits, and other considerations like the use of lubricants or protection from STIs.
Before performing any act, use clear language to describe what you want to do. Don't rely on nonverbal cues, which may not be understood by others. Say exactly what you mean, and allow your partner to respond with questions or concerns.
Remember that communication doesn't end when the act begins. Use words throughout to check in with each other and let them know how things feel. Pay attention to body language too, such as facial expressions and physical reactions.
Finally, make sure both partners understand what happened afterward. This step is critical for building trust and ensuring everyone feels comfortable moving forward. Avoid blame, shame, or guilt-inducing phrases during this discussion.