Consensual nonconsensuality is often discussed and studied, but less attention is given to how partners can talk about it beforehand. In order for consensual nonconsensuality to be enjoyable, there must be an open dialogue between partners about what they are comfortable with. This article will provide tips on communicating consent effectively when trying new things in bed.
Tip 1: Be specific. When discussing new sexual practices or scenarios, be very clear and specific about what you want to try and what boundaries you have around them. For example, if you want to try BDSM play, specify which actions you would like to engage in (whipping, spanking) and which ones you don't (choking, slapping). If you want to explore roleplaying, explain which characters you would like to portray and which roles you would like your partner to take on. Make sure both partners feel comfortable with what is being proposed.
Tip 2: Discuss limitations. Discuss any physical or emotional limitations that may affect your ability to participate fully in certain activities. Talk about any past trauma or experiences that might make certain acts more difficult for you to handle. Also, talk about any fears or concerns about a particular activity. This way, your partner can prepare and support you appropriately during the experience.
Tip 3: Respect boundaries. Always respect your partner's limits and boundaries, even if they differ from yours. Listen carefully to their words and body language to ensure you understand exactly where those lines are drawn. If a boundary is crossed, stop immediately and communicate clearly that you recognize it was wrong. If a boundary has been crossed without realizing it, apologize sincerely and reassure them that it won't happen again.
Tip 4: Check in regularly. During a scene or encounter, check in frequently to make sure everyone is still comfortable and enjoying themselves. Ask questions such as "Is this okay?" or "Do you need anything?" and respond accordingly. If at any point someone indicates discomfort or requests a change, honor that request immediately. Never push through someone's discomfort or refusal. Tip 5: Use safe words. A safeword is a word or phrase that can be used by anyone involved in an activity to indicate that they want it to stop immediately. The safeword should be agreed upon beforehand and respected by all participants. It should not be associated with anything sexual or suggestive in nature. Some common safewords include 'red,' 'yellow,' and 'green.' If someone uses their safeword, stop whatever you are doing and check in with them.
By following these tips, couples can effectively communicate consent when exploring new sexual practices and scenarios. Remember to be clear, specific, and respectful of each other's needs and limitations.