The act of building trust is often seen as one of the most important elements of healthy romantic relationships. Trust can be defined as "a belief that someone else will do what they have said, will not harm you intentionally, and will be loyal to your relationship" (Gullo & Harwood, 2016). It requires an individual to feel safe and secure enough to share their vulnerabilities and desires with another person while knowing that those aspects will be respected, honored, and valued.
Despite its importance, it can also be easily broken due to various relational breaches such as lies, infidelity, betrayal, or abuse. When this happens, individuals may experience feelings of fear, anger, distrust, resentment, and insecurity, which could lead them to question their ability to trust again and engage in future relationships. To overcome these challenges, some mechanisms facilitate repairing and growing trust after relational breaches. These include self-awareness, introspection, forgiveness, empathy, communication, understanding, rebuilding, compromise, boundaries, and commitment.
Self-awareness is essential for identifying personal triggers and emotional responses that may hinder the growth of trust in a relationship. Individuals need to understand their own needs, values, strengths, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities before entering into a relationship. This helps them to recognize when they are at risk and take preventive measures against potential relational breaches. Introspection involves reflecting on past experiences, identifying patterns of behavior, and recognizing how one's actions impact others. By doing so, individuals can learn from their mistakes and avoid repeating them in future relationships. Forgiveness is crucial for letting go of negative thoughts and emotions towards the other person involved. While not condoning hurtful behaviors, individuals must acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes and choose to move forward instead of holding onto resentment. Empathy requires putting oneself in another person's shoes and trying to understand their perspective without judgment. This allows individuals to see beyond themselves and build empathy for their partner's struggles and pain. Communication is critical for sharing thoughts, feelings, desires, expectations, and fears openly and honestly with each other. Understanding involves listening actively and being willing to learn about one's partner's worldview, cultural background, family dynamics, and childhood experiences. Rebuilding involves working together to restore trust by acknowledging faults, expressing remorse, apologizing sincerely, making amends, and committing to change. Compromise means agreeing to disagree and finding common ground through respectful negotiation.
Boundaries involve setting healthy limits and expectations around time, space, intimacy, and commitment.
Repairing and growing trust after relational breaches takes effort and work. Individuals need to be self-aware, introspective, forgiving, empathetic, communicative, understanding, rebuilding, compromising, aware of boundaries, and committed to the relationship. By implementing these mechanisms, couples can foster a safe, secure, and fulfilling environment where they can grow and thrive together.
What psychological mechanisms facilitate repair and growth of trust after relational breaches?
Repairing and growing trust after a breach is an important aspect of maintaining healthy relationships. Psychologists have proposed several mechanisms that play a role in this process. One mechanism is cognitive restructuring, which involves reassessing the situation from a more positive perspective and recognizing that both parties contributed to the problem. This can help individuals avoid blaming each other and start working towards a solution together.