Sexuality is an important part of human life, but it can be difficult to understand for some people. Partners may have different values about how much sex they want, when they want it, what they enjoy, and how often they want to connect. It's possible that one partner wants to have more sex than the other, while the other prefers less. In this case, both partners must negotiate their way through these differences in order to find emotional fairness and relational continuity.
One approach is to focus on understanding each other's needs and desires.
If one partner wants more sex than the other, they should talk openly and honestly about why they desire it, as well as what kind of intimate moments would make them feel satisfied. This could involve talking about feelings of loneliness, frustration, or fear of rejection. The other partner should listen actively and try to empathize with those concerns. Then, the couple can work together to find compromises that allow both parties to get their needs met without forcing either person into a situation that makes them uncomfortable.
Another method is to explore non-sexual ways to stay connected.
Couples might take up activities like dancing, painting, cooking, or going out for dinner. These experiences create closeness and connection, which are also essential parts of sexuality. They can help couples build trust, communication skills, and respect for each other's boundaries.
These activities can reduce stress and tension in the relationship, which can lead to better overall health.
Couples who want to maintain emotional fairness and relational continuity may need to consider counseling. A therapist can offer guidance on how to communicate effectively, set reasonable expectations, and manage conflict constructively. It can also be helpful to learn new ways to express love and affection outside of sex. By doing this, partners can strengthen their bond while remaining true to themselves.
How do partners with mismatched sexual values negotiate emotional fairness and relational continuity?
One study (Feldhahn & Christensen, 2017) found that partners with sexually mismatched values tend to prioritize communication and negotiation to manage their differences in sexual desires. They emphasized the importance of openly discussing and listening to each other's needs and desires before making decisions about sexual activity.