People often seek to be attractive to others because it's part of human nature. We are social creatures, and we want to connect with others through relationships that have various forms and purposes. One of these is dating, which can lead to romance and eventually marriage. In this context, being attractive to another person is essential for successful relationship initiation and development. But what exactly is attraction? There are many theories and definitions about it.
One thing they all have in common is that it involves admiration of something.
When we like someone, we may see them as physically or intellectually appealing and worthy of our attention and admiration. Physical attraction is an easy concept to understand, but intellectual attraction is less straightforward. When we are drawn to someone who challenges us mentally, we must work harder to get their approval and appreciate them more. This type of admiration requires self-growth because it implies constant learning and improvement.
Self-growth and intellectual attraction
We tend to be attracted to people who challenge us intellectually because it makes us feel good about ourselves when we overcome those challenges. If I am a math geek and meet someone who knows calculus and advanced mathematics beyond my level, it will arouse my interest. It will make me admire that person, learn from him/her, and grow personally by expanding my knowledge. The same happens with any other skill or area of expertise. When we meet someone better than us at something, we feel inspired and motivated to do the same.
This process has been studied extensively by psychologists who call it 'intrinsic motivation'. Intrinsically motivated individuals don't seek external rewards; instead, they pursue mastery for its own sake. They feel satisfaction in overcoming obstacles and improving themselves. So if you want to increase your chances of finding a partner through intellectual attraction, focus on growing and learning new things constantly.
Growth mindset
A growth mindset is essential for intrinsic motivation. People with this mindset believe that they can improve through effort and dedication. They see mistakes as opportunities to learn and not failures but stepping stones towards success. They understand that every mistake is an experience that brings them closer to their goal. By adopting a growth mindset, you will become more resilient and determined to achieve your goals. This attitude also helps you find meaning in life.
Practical applications
Imagine that you want to date someone who excels in a certain field, such as literature. You could start reading more books and articles about that topic to broaden your knowledge. Reading will help you gain insight into different perspectives and ways of thinking. It will also give you common ground with potential partners when conversations arise.
You could also take online courses related to the subject or join book clubs where members discuss relevant topics. These activities will allow you to develop skills and knowledge while meeting like-minded people. They will also provide you with unique experiences that you can share with your future partner.
Admiration of self-growth plays a significant role in intellectual attraction because it leads to increased confidence and personal development. When we meet someone who challenges us intellectually, we feel inspired to do better ourselves. This process requires a growth mindset, which involves constant learning and improvement. To increase your chances of finding someone who shares your interests and challenges you intellectually, focus on growing and expanding your knowledge base. Join groups or take classes related to your hobbies and interests. The more you know, the more confident you'll be, and the easier it will be for you to attract others.
What role does admiration of self-growth play in attraction?
The admiration for personal growth can be an attractive quality that contributes to one's dating life. It shows potential partners that you are ambitious, determined, and strive for improvement in all areas of life. This can indicate that you have goals and values that align with their own, making you seem more desirable as a partner.