The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) have strict teachings about human sexuality and marriage, with a focus on abstinence before marriage and fidelity within it. These norms are rooted in the belief that sex is sacred and should be reserved for married couples.
There is no consensus among members on how these rules apply to nonheterosexual individuals and unmarried partners. This article will examine the intersection between gender norms and personal desire in Mormon marriages and suggest ways to reconcile them.
In Mormon culture, the roles of men and women are strictly defined, with men expected to take the lead in their families while women are primarily responsible for childcare and homemaking. This traditionalist framework can create conflict when it comes to negotiating sexual desires and intimacy, as both parties may feel pressure to conform to societal expectations rather than what feels right.
Mormons often believe that all sexual activity must be procreative and are taught to avoid premarital sex and masturbation, which can lead to feelings of shame or guilt if they do engage in such behaviors. These norms are enforced through church leaders who encourage members to report transgressions and penalize those who violate the rules.
Gender Norms and Personal Desire
Within the context of marriage, Mormons are encouraged to prioritize the needs of their spouse over their own.
Men are expected to initiate physical intimacy and provide for their family financially, while women are expected to keep house and raise children. If a couple's desires don't align with these norms, tension can arise, especially if one partner feels guilty about wanting more intimacy or autonomy. In some cases, this has led to couples choosing abstinence instead of seeking compromise.
Other couples have found ways to negotiate their desires without compromising their religious beliefs, such as exploring new positions or communicating openly with each other.
Negotiating Religious Obligations
For nonheterosexual individuals, navigating sexuality within Mormonism is even more challenging, as church leaders have historically condemned homosexuality and same-sex marriages. While there are now LGBTQ+ friendly congregations, many Mormons still struggle with reconciling their identity with their faith. Those who choose to stay in the Church may feel pressured to suppress their desire or enter into heterosexual marriages, leading to a lack of fulfillment and potentially harmful consequences. Meanwhile, married individuals may face criticism from their peers if they engage in non-procreative acts such as oral sex or anal intercourse.
Gender norms in Mormonism play a significant role in shaping sexual ethics and intimacy in marriage. By recognizing that people have different needs and desires, couples can work towards a healthy balance between obligation and personal satisfaction. It will take time for Mormons to adapt to changing attitudes around sexuality and relationships, but by continuing to explore and communicate, they can find peace and joy in their marriages despite these challenges.
How do gender norms in Mormonism influence sexual ethics, marital intimacy, and negotiation of personal desire and religious obligations?
Gender norms in Mormonism have traditionally been characterized by strict rules that are based on patriarchal authority and male dominance. These norms dictate how women should behave and dress while also emphasizing traditional family values. This means that women must be submissive to men and their husbands in all matters, including sexuality, which is believed to be primarily for procreation within marriage.