Spouses who are members of strict religions may face pressure to fulfill specific duties related to their faith, including those that involve sex and intimacy. These obligations can sometimes be disguised as religious obligation, which makes it challenging for partners to recognize when they are being forced into something against their will. This is a problem because coercion is never consensual and violates fundamental human rights. In this article, we'll explore some of the ways spouses can identify when a partner is using religion as an excuse to manipulate them into unwanted behaviors.
One common way in which partners might try to mask coercion as a religious duty is by citing scripture or the teachings of their faith leaders.
If one partner believes that certain sexual acts are immoral according to their religion, they may insist that their spouse engage in these activities regardless of their comfort level.
They may cite religious laws that require certain behavior, such as covering hair or dressing modestly. While these things may seem harmless on the surface, they can quickly become controlling and abusive when used to force someone into doing something they don't want to do.
Another sign of coercion masquerading as religious duty is when one partner tries to shame or guilt the other into participating in sexual activity. They may say things like "God wants you to have children" or "It's your duty as a wife/husband." By making their partner feel guilty or ashamed, the partner attempting to control may get what they want without having to resort to direct pressure or physical force.
This manipulation still violates the person's autonomy and should not be tolerated.
Other indicators of coercive behavior include withholding affection, punishing disobedience, and isolation from family and friends. If a partner refuses to engage in sex or other intimate behaviors, the controlling individual may withdraw love or cut off social contact. This can make it difficult for the victimized partner to seek help or support from outside sources because they are afraid of losing their relationship entirely.
Partners who are being coerced may experience extreme guilt, anxiety, or self-doubt about their actions. They may question whether they are fulfilling their religious duties properly or wonder if they are damaging their faith by resisting. This emotional manipulation is another way that abusers use religion to control their victims and prevent them from seeking help.
To combat these tactics, spouses should prioritize communication, education, and self-care. It's important to talk openly about expectations and desires before entering a marriage so that both partners understand what is expected of them.
Couples should research their faith together to ensure they have a shared understanding of its teachings and values.
Individuals struggling with abuse should seek professional help from trusted mental health professionals or domestic violence organizations. By recognizing and addressing coercion early on, spouses can protect themselves and their relationships from harm.
Religious obligations should never be used as an excuse for coercing someone into unwanted sexual behavior. Victims of abuse should speak up and seek assistance from trustworthy resources, while partners who suspect coercion should listen carefully to their loved ones' needs and avoid using shame or guilt to manipulate them. With proper care and awareness, all members of religious communities can create safe, consensual relationships free from abuse and exploitation.
How do spouses identify coercion masked as religious duty?
According to researchers, identifying coercion masquerading as religious obligation can be challenging for spouses because of their deeply rooted cultural beliefs that subordinate them to traditional gender roles and expectations (Lewis 2018). In many societies where patriarchy is prevalent, wives are expected to obey their husbands unquestionably and fulfill their duties as homemakers, caregivers, and child bearers.