Soldiers often face many challenges when it comes to managing their personal lives while on active duty. One of these challenges is maintaining secrecy about their romantic relationships, especially if they are deployed away from home for extended periods of time. This can be difficult due to the need for operational security, which requires that all communication with family members be monitored and recorded.
Some soldiers find ways to manage this challenge and remain authentic and emotionally invested in their relationships despite the surveillance.
The first way that soldiers manage relational secrecy is by using code words or phrases that only their significant others understand.
They might say "my friend" instead of "my girlfriend," or use abbreviations like "LOL" instead of laughing out loud. They also may use secure messaging platforms, such as WhatsApp or Signal, to communicate more privately.
They may limit the amount of personal information they share online, avoid posting pictures together, and delete messages after reading them. These measures help ensure that their superiors do not discover their relationship status.
To maintain authenticity, soldiers must be upfront and honest about their feelings and intentions, even if they cannot express them fully. They may write letters or send emails detailing their emotional state, describe past events that made them happy or sad, or ask questions to learn more about their partner's life. While operational security may prevent them from sharing certain details, they should still strive to connect on a deeper level through openness and vulnerability. Authenticity is essential for maintaining trust and intimacy in long-distance relationships.
Soldiers must invest emotionally in their relationships despite the challenges posed by surveillance. This means making time for regular check-ins, setting aside distractions, and staying engaged in conversations. It can be hard to do this when working long hours, dealing with stressful situations, or being away from loved ones for extended periods.
Prioritizing connection and support can help soldiers feel less isolated and alone. Some ways to maintain emotional investment include sending care packages, writing love notes, or scheduling video calls at convenient times.
Managing relational secrecy, authenticity, and emotional investment under operational surveillance requires effort and creativity. By using code words, being open and vulnerable, and prioritizing connection, soldiers can navigate these challenges and maintain healthy and meaningful relationships while serving their country.
How do soldiers manage relational secrecy, authenticity, and emotional investment under operational surveillance?
In an interview with soldiers who have served in combat zones, it was found that they often struggle with managing their personal relationships while also keeping up the appearance of being invulnerable and stoic in order to maintain unit cohesion. While some soldiers may choose to keep their feelings about their experiences to themselves, others may feel more comfortable sharing them with close friends or family members.