One of the most common challenges that military personnel face is how to balance their personal relationships with their professional responsibilities while deployed in combat. When they are away from home for extended periods of time, it can be difficult to maintain meaningful connections with family members and friends back home.
The stress of being in combat situations often leads to feelings of isolation and loneliness, which can make it even harder to stay connected. At the same time, many soldiers find themselves grappling with ethical conflicts and moral injuries related to the decisions they must make in battle. These experiences can lead them to question whether or not they have made the right choices, causing further psychological distress. How do soldiers reconcile these competing desires? In this essay, I will explore some strategies that may help.
Soldiers can focus on building strong relationships before deployment. This includes taking the time to communicate openly and honestly with loved ones about expectations and boundaries. It also involves finding ways to maintain contact while deployed through phone calls, emails, letters, and video chats. By establishing a solid foundation of trust and understanding before leaving home, soldiers can better weather the challenges of separation.
Creating rituals around communication - such as regularly scheduled check-ins or special messages - can help ensure that both parties feel supported and cared for.
Soldiers should seek out support from other service members during deployment. Sharing experiences with fellow troops can provide emotional support, helping soldiers process difficult memories and feelings. Joining a unit with like-minded individuals can create a sense of community and camaraderie, making deployments less isolating. Soldiers should also look for professional mental health resources if needed, including counseling services provided by their military branch or civilian organizations such as Combat Stress or Veterans Affairs. These resources can help soldiers work through trauma and develop coping skills for managing stress and anxiety.
Soldiers should remember that their relationships at home are unique and valuable. Even though they may be apart for long periods of time, it is important to keep in mind that family members need attention and care just as much as anyone else. Finding creative ways to show love and appreciation - such as sending care packages or writing notes - can help strengthen bonds despite physical distance.
When soldiers return home, they should prioritize spending time reconnecting with loved ones rather than immediately jumping back into everyday life. This transition period can be difficult but is essential for healing from combat experiences and building new intimacy.
Fourth, soldiers must take responsibility for their own wellbeing. Taking steps to reduce stress, such as exercise, meditation, or therapy, can improve mental health and overall resilience.
Setting boundaries around communication - such as turning off phones before bedtime - can help prevent overwhelming thoughts and feelings from intruding on personal space.
Seeking out meaningful activities outside of combat - whether creative pursuits or volunteerism - can provide a sense of purpose and connection during deployment and beyond. By investing in themselves both physically and emotionally, soldiers can build the strength necessary to face any challenge.
Soldiers who wish to reconcile relational desires with experiences of moral injury and ethical conflict in combat must be proactive about self-care and relationship building. By focusing on communication, support networks, and self-reflection, soldiers can find balance between professional obligations and personal relationships. With proper planning and effort, military personnel can successfully navigate these challenges and maintain strong connections with loved ones while preserving their own wellbeing.
How do soldiers reconcile relational desires with experiences of moral injury and ethical conflict in combat?
The experience of war often challenges soldiers' sense of self, morality, and relationship to others. Soldiers may be exposed to traumatic events that contradict their values, beliefs, and expectations about how humans should interact with each other. This can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, betrayal, and disillusionment, which can strain personal relationships both during and after service.