The term "shared emotional labor" refers to the process whereby individuals work together to meet their needs for affection, care, attention, support, and companionship. This concept is relevant to military couples since they often face unique challenges that can lead to instability in their relationship. When both partners invest time and effort into maintaining an emotional connection, it helps them stay connected during times of separation, cope with stressors such as deployment, and build resilience against future difficulties.
This type of labor can also create strain if one partner feels like they are doing more than the other, which can result in feelings of anger, resentment, and distrust. The following sections will explore how shared emotional labor affects relational stability in military couples.
Shared Emotional Labor in Military Couples
In military life, shared emotional labor involves each partner contributing equally to maintaining intimacy within the relationship. This includes taking turns initiating conversation, expressing appreciation, providing comfort, offering support, and engaging in sexual activities. Some ways to share this labor include communicating regularly via text or video chat while apart, planning special dates when reunited, and engaging in physical activity together.
A couple may agree to spend time together every day reading books or playing games rather than watching TV separately. Doing so creates opportunities for closeness even when separated by great distances.
Effects on Relational Stability
When one partner does most of the emotional labor, it can cause tension in the relationship. If they feel unappreciated or taken advantage of, they may become distant or withdraw from the relationship entirely.
This can erode trust and lead to a breakdown in communication. In contrast, when both partners contribute equally, it strengthens their bond by building mutual understanding and respect. This allows them to work through conflicts effectively and recover quickly from disagreements. When both partners invest in shared emotional labor, it promotes balance and harmony within the relationship.
Shared emotional labor plays an essential role in military couples' relational stability. It helps build connection, cope with stressors, and maintain intimacy during separations.
If one partner feels like they are doing more than the other, resentment can arise. Therefore, it is crucial for both partners to be conscious of their contributions and communicate openly about their needs and expectations. By working together to meet these needs, they can create a stronger, healthier relationship that supports each other throughout deployment and beyond.
In what ways does shared emotional labor affect relational stability in military couples?
Emotional labor refers to managing feelings of oneself as well as those of others. In romantic relationships, there are two main types of emotional labor: expressive labor and instrumental labor (Baxter & Braithwaite, 2012). Expressive labor includes demonstrating care and affection towards one's partner while instrumental labor involves being considerate of their needs and preferences.