There are many ways that religious teachings approach marriage, but most religions have some form of rules about how to behave before, during, and after marriage. These guidelines typically include instructions on when it is appropriate to marry, whom to marry, and how to behave within marriage. Marriage may also involve promises made by the couple to each other and God.
There can be conflicting doctrines regarding intimacy, which can lead to tensions between prescriptive teachings and lived experience. In this article, I will discuss these conflicts and explain how they affect married couples.
One common teaching is that men and women should not engage in premarital sex. This doctrine comes from a belief that sex is sacred and should only take place within marriage. Some religions believe that sex outside of marriage is sinful or immoral, while others simply discourage it because it could result in unwanted children or STDs. This doctrine often leads to confusion for those who want to wait until marriage, as well as people who have already had sexual relationships outside of marriage. It may also create problems for couples who feel pressure to abstain from sex until their wedding day.
Another teaching is that husbands and wives should remain faithful to one another. While this is generally accepted by all religions, some doctrines go further than just prohibiting adultery.
Islamic law forbids even looking at someone else with lust. Some Christians believe that spouses must avoid any form of pornography, even if it involves other consenting adults. Others may require couples to abstain from masturbation altogether. Such restrictions can make it difficult for couples to explore their sexuality together, leading to feelings of shame or guilt.
Some religious marriages include specific instructions about when and how often couples should have sex. In the Bible, for instance, a husband is encouraged to satisfy his wife's needs before he takes care of himself.
Many couples find this commandment confusing, especially if they are new parents or struggling financially. They may worry that fulfilling their partner's desires will leave them too tired to accomplish other tasks. As a result, many couples choose not to follow these teachings and instead engage in intimacy whenever they please.
The Catholic Church requires married couples to use natural family planning methods rather than artificial contraception. This doctrine reflects the belief that children are gifts from God and that birth control disrupts His plan.
Many couples find natural family planning difficult and may resort to unapproved methods out of necessity. This conflict can lead to tension between prescriptive teachings and lived experience.
Some religious teachings emphasize the importance of procreation within marriage.
In Judaism, couples are expected to have children as soon as possible after marriage. This can create pressure on young couples who do not yet feel ready or able to start a family. It can also cause problems for infertile couples who want to adopt or use surrogates.
There are many conflicting doctrines surrounding sexual rights, obligations, and intimacy in religious marriages. These tensions can create challenges for both individuals and couples as they try to live according to their faith while also expressing themselves physically and emotionally. It is important for religious leaders to understand these struggles and provide guidance to those who seek it.
How do religious marital doctrines balance sexual rights, obligations, and intimacy, and what tensions exist between prescriptive teachings and lived experience?
The most common sources of conflict between prescriptive teachings and lived experience are found within conservative communities. In these communities, there is often an emphasis on the importance of sexual abstinence until marriage, which can result in feelings of shame and guilt for those who engage in premarital sex.