Religious morality has always played an important role in shaping societal norms and values, including those related to love, relationships, and sexual behavior. One such value that is often considered paramount is the prioritization of relational duties over personal erotic gratification. This means that individuals are expected to put their partner's needs above their own desires and prioritize the wellbeing of their relationship over physical pleasure.
This can be challenging for some people who have strong sexual urges that they cannot control. In this article, I will explore how religious beliefs influence the prioritization of relational duty over erotic satisfaction.
The origin of moral codes
Moral codes that emphasize the importance of relational duty date back to ancient times, when religion was used as a way to regulate human behavior and ensure social order. Religions like Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, and many others place a great deal of emphasis on the sanctity of marriage and family life. They believe that sex should only occur within the context of a committed relationship, where both partners are faithful to each other and prioritize one another's needs. According to these religions, sexual desire must be subordinated to the greater good of the relationship and the creation of new life.
The Bible and sexuality
The Bible, which is considered sacred by Christians, includes several passages that reflect this idea of putting relational duties before personal pleasures.
Proverbs 5:18-20 says "Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth. Let her love be as the loves of the deer upon the mountains; let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be exhilarated always with her love." This passage emphasizes the importance of sexual intimacy within marriage and suggests that it should be enjoyed within the bounds of a loving relationship. Similarly, Ephesians 5:3 says "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality or impurity or greed, because these are improper for God's holy people." Here, Paul warns against any form of sexual activity outside of marriage, even if it seems harmless.
Quran and sexual ethics
In Islam, the Quran also has strict guidelines about sexual behavior. Surah An-Nisa (4:19) states that men can marry up to four wives but they must treat them equally and provide for their financial needs. In addition, Surah al-Baqarah (2:2236) prohibits sex during menstruation and after childbirth until purification rites have been completed. These rules ensure that couples prioritize each other's wellbeing and avoid engaging in risky behaviors that could harm the health of the relationship.
Buddhism and monastic vows
In Buddhism, celibacy is considered the highest expression of spiritual discipline. Monks and nuns take vows of chastity and abstain from all forms of sexual gratification, including masturbation. They believe that by denying themselves physical pleasure, they can focus on spiritual enlightenment and attain nirvana.
Some Buddhist sects allow married monks and nuns to engage in marital relations within certain limits, such as only with their spouse and for procreative purposes. This suggests that while sex may be necessary for reproduction, it should not interfere with a person's spiritual growth or disrupt the stability of the family unit.
While religions differ in their specific teachings about sex and relationships, they all share the common belief that relational duties should come before personal erotic satisfaction. This value system promotes the creation of stable families, reduces sexual violence and promiscuity, and encourages emotional intimacy between partners.
It can also cause conflict when individuals struggle with strong sexual urges and desire to explore different sexual experiences outside of marriage. It remains an ongoing debate whether religious morality is compatible with modern sexual ethics and whether there are ways to reconcile these two ideals.