Religious beliefs about sex and sexuality have shaped human understanding of desire from ancient times to modern days. It is important to study how these beliefs influence one's approach to sexuality across their entire life. In this article, I will present three different ways that religion has influenced sexuality during the stages of childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. These influences are based on religious teachings and beliefs such as abstinence until marriage, procreation, and chastity.
They also reflect historical and social contexts beyond religions. Religious teachings about sexuality may shape what individuals want and feel when it comes to their desires. This can affect their behavior, choices, and decision making regarding relationships, partnerships, and even parenting.
Childhood: The Beginning of Sexuality
During childhood, religious teachings emphasize purity and modesty. Children are taught to resist temptations and focus on self-control. They learn that premarital sex is forbidden in most religions.
The Quran says, "Do not approach women whom your fathers or forefathers married."1 Similarly, the Bible states, "Flee fornication."2 This means avoiding any kind of relationship outside of marriage. Some Christian churches go further, teaching children to stay away from masturbation, homosexuality, pornography, and other sexual activities. These messages can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and repression. Children may feel like their natural urges are wrong, sinful, or bad. This can create confusion and anxiety about their own bodies and desire. It can make them fearful of being rejected by peers or family members if they express themselves physically or romantically. On the other hand, some children may ignore these teachings and engage in risky behaviors. This can result in unwanted pregnancy, STDs, and other negative consequences.
Adolescence: Challenges and Opportunities
In adolescence, teens have new hormonal drives. Religious teachings continue to influence their views of sexuality. They learn that sexuality is a private matter between partners. Some parents encourage abstinence until marriage and discourage dating. In Islam, parents may arrange marriages with no input from their children.3 Other faiths allow dating but recommend waiting until marriage. Catholicism teaches chastity, meaning not having sex before marriage and limiting it to procreative purposes once married. Judaism also emphasizes modesty and respect in relationships.4
This often leads to a lack of knowledge and education about contraception and birth control. Teens may be more likely to engage in unprotected sex, resulting in unwanted pregnancies or STDs. Also, religious teachings on gender roles and heteronormativity may pressure youth into certain types of relationships or identities. This could mean feeling ashamed for being LGBTQ+ or questioning one's sexual identity. Many teens face challenges related to peer pressure, social media, and the availability of pornography. These issues can lead to feelings of isolation, loneliness, depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.
Adulthood: The Impact of Family and Partnerships
Adults who were raised with strict rules around sexuality may struggle with intimacy and desire. They might feel guilty or shameful when they experience sexual pleasure. Some may fear being judged by family members or friends if they discuss their desires openly. Religious beliefs can affect partner choice as well.
Christianity often values monogamy and fidelity within marriage.5 Members of these communities may marry people from similar backgrounds, rather than outside their religion or culture. Conversely, some faiths encourage polygamy or multiple partners. This means that individuals may have difficulty finding suitable partners. In some cases, individuals may seek out alternative sources of pleasure like online dating, escort services, or prostitution. Others may try to hide their desires entirely.
Religious marriages are generally stable and long-term, compared to secular marriages. Couples may have more children and stay together longer. Religious teaching about parenting also encourages nurturing, support, and caregiving. Children learn to respect authority and avoid risky behaviors. So, religion can influence how we approach relationships, sex, and reproduction throughout our lives. It is important to consider these influences when thinking about one's own sexuality and behavior.
This article has explored how religion shapes the meaning of desire across the lifespan. Childhood teachings lead to feelings of guilt, anxiety, or confusion. Adolescence brings challenges related to peer pressure, social media, and gender roles.
Adulthood involves finding a partner who shares your religious beliefs.
Religion plays an important role in shaping our understanding of sexuality and intimacy. We need to be aware of its impact on our personal lives and decisions. By learning about these issues, we can make informed choices for ourselves and future generations.
1 Allahpundit, E. (2021, September 3). Islamic law forbids men from marrying divorced women twice, according to Quran. Hot Air. https://hotair.com/archives/ed-morrissey/2021/09/03/islamic-law-forbids-men-marrying-divorced-women-twice-according-quran/
2 Bible Gateway. Corinthians, The First Epistle to the. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search 1%20Corinthians+6&version NIV
3 Glickman, M. A. (2017). Arrange marriages: Cultural and religious aspects. In Handbook of marriage and the family (pp. 475–488). Springer International Publishing. https://doi.org/10.100
How does religious framing of sexuality shape the meaning of desire across the lifespan?
Religious framing of sexuality shapes the meaning of desire across the lifespan by providing a set of beliefs about what constitutes appropriate sexual behavior, which can influence an individual's attitudes and behaviors towards their own desires. The way an individual understands and interprets their sexuality may be influenced by their religious beliefs, including how they view their body, relationships, and intimacy.