In most religions, there is an emphasis on following strict rules and guidelines that are considered essential to living a holy life.
Humans have natural desires and urges that can sometimes conflict with these prescribed norms.
Some religions may prohibit premarital sex while others encourage it within marriage. Still, many people experience spontaneous feelings of attraction towards others even outside the bounds of their marital commitment. This raises the question of how believers reconcile these uncontrollable impulses with the established religious beliefs and practices they follow.
One way of dealing with this dilemma is through cognitive dissonance reduction. This theory suggests that when individuals encounter conflicting thoughts, emotions, or behaviors, they tend to alter one aspect to reduce the discomfort caused by the inconsistency. In other words, when faced with a desire for something that contradicts their faith, they may rationalize it as permissible under certain circumstances or find ways to justify why it doesn't go against their beliefs.
Another approach is to seek guidance from spiritual leaders who can provide advice and support in managing such situations. Believers may consult priests, imams, rabbis, pastors, or gurus to receive counseling, moral instruction, or prayers to help them overcome temptations and maintain fidelity to their religion. Such religious authorities may offer practical strategies for overcoming lustful urges, suggest positive affirmations, or recommend self-control techniques. They may also highlight the importance of repentance and forgiveness if believers succumb to their passions despite their best efforts.
Some believers may also interpret biblical texts or sacred teachings to explain the acceptability of their desires.
Some religions allow polygamy while forbidding adultery. Therefore, believers who experience erotic feelings towards someone outside their marriage could argue that they are acting within the bounds of their faith by seeking an alternative partner. Some may even cite cultural norms or traditions that permit extramarital relationships in certain contexts.
Many believe that true spirituality involves transcending physical pleasure and embracing higher principles. This perspective emphasizes the pursuit of holiness and righteousness above all else. It encourages followers to resist worldly temptations, including sexual ones, and focus on developing inner strength, compassion, and integrity. In this way, believers who struggle with spontaneous desires can view them as challenges to be overcome rather than indulged.
Reconciling spontaneous desire with structured religious norms requires a combination of cognitive dissonance reduction, guidance from spiritual leaders, textual interpretation, and personal transformation. While these strategies may not always work, they provide believers with support, resources, and motivation to maintain fidelity to their faith amidst human weaknesses and impulses.