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HOW QUEER COMMUNITIES CRAFT THEIR OWN FAMILIES THROUGH FRIENDSHIP

4 min read Queer

Friendship is an important part of many people's lives, but it can be especially crucial for those who are members of queer communities. Queer individuals may find themselves excluded from their biological families due to discrimination or rejection, making it difficult to establish meaningful family ties. As a result, they often turn to friends for emotional support, companionship, and care. These friendships can take on some of the functions that traditional familial bonds might have otherwise provided, including providing a sense of belonging, helping with practical matters like childcare or financial assistance, and offering emotional support during times of need.

Rituals and Practices

One common practice among queer communities is the creation of chosen family networks. Chosen families consist of groups of people who choose one another as family despite not being related through blood. This allows members of these communities to create a sense of kinship and belonging outside of traditional nuclear families. In addition, chosen family members may engage in rituals and practices together that reinforce their bond.

Many chosen families celebrate holidays such as Thanksgiving or Christmas without parents or siblings present, creating a new tradition for the group. Some members of chosen families even live together in shared homes or participate in "family vacations" with their chosen relatives.

Another way that queer individuals form strong relationships is by participating in social clubs or organizations. These groups provide a place where people can gather, share interests, and build connections. Many LGBTQ+ clubs and organizations offer activities such as book clubs, movie nights, and game nights, allowing participants to spend time together while also cultivating deeper relationships. Members of these groups often become close friends over time, forming tight-knit communities that serve as support systems for one another.

Friendship can also be a source of practical help within queer communities. When biological families are unavailable or unwelcoming, friends may step up to fill important roles. They might assist with household chores, cook meals, or offer rides to appointments or events. Some friendships even involve financial assistance, with members pooling resources to help one another pay bills or cover unexpected expenses. These acts of mutual aid deepen the emotional connection between friends and foster feelings of trust and reliability.

Emotional Support

Friends in queer communities can also provide critical emotional support during difficult times. When someone is struggling with mental health issues, feeling isolated or alone, or simply needs a shoulder to cry on, they turn to friends for comfort. Friends can listen attentively, offer advice, and empathize with one another's experiences. In some cases, this support can extend to more serious matters like coming out or dealing with discrimination. By providing a safe space for open communication, friends help each other navigate challenges and strengthen their relationships at the same time.

In addition to emotional support, friends may engage in physical intimacy as well. This can range from simple gestures like holding hands or hugging to more intimate actions such as kissing or sex. While many people have sexual relationships outside of family ties, LGBTQ+ individuals may find themselves excluded from traditional romantic partnerships due to stigma or discrimination. Friends who share these identities can offer companionship without judgment or pressure, creating an atmosphere of acceptance and understanding that is rare elsewhere.

Friendship, care, and mutual support are essential functions of queer communities that replace traditional familial bonds. Whether it's through chosen families, social clubs, practical assistance, or intimate relationships, friends provide much-needed emotional and practical support when biological relatives fail them. These rituals and practices serve as lifelines for many members of the LGBTQ+ community, allowing them to build meaningful connections and create lasting friendships.

How do rituals of friendship, care, and mutual support function as replacements for traditional familial bonds in queer communities?

Friendship, care, and mutual support are important components of any society, including queer communities. Queer individuals may not always have access to traditional family structures, but they can still build strong relationships with friends who provide them with emotional support, practical assistance, and social connection. These friendships often take on many of the functions that families typically serve, such as providing a sense of belonging, helping with financial needs, and offering guidance through life's challenges.

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