How Partners Respond to Soldiers' Selective Disclosure of Traumatic Experiences While Maintaining Relational Trust and Intimacy
When military personnel return home from combat, they may experience significant psychological distress due to their experiences during deployment. This can lead to difficulties in maintaining relational trust and intimacy with their partners. One strategy that some soldiers employ is selectively disclosing traumatic experiences in order to protect themselves and their loved ones while still maintaining an emotional connection.
This can create challenges for partners who may feel misunderstood or unsupported if they are not aware of the full extent of what their soldier has experienced. In this article, we will examine how partners respond to selective disclosure of trauma and provide strategies for building and maintaining trust and intimacy in these situations.
It is important to understand why soldiers may choose to be selective about what they disclose. Combat exposure often involves witnessing or participating in violence, death, and other traumatic events that can be difficult to process and share.
Many soldiers may have difficulty expressing their feelings or seeking help due to stigma around mental health issues within the military culture. By carefully selecting which experiences to discuss, soldiers can control how much information their partners have access to without sacrificing their sense of self-protection. This can help them to maintain a degree of emotional distance and avoid overwhelming their partner.
Partners may react differently to selective disclosure depending on their own backgrounds, personalities, and support systems. Some may feel hurt or betrayed by their soldier's choice to hide parts of their experiences, while others may accept it as necessary for the relationship. It is crucial for partners to communicate openly and honestly about their needs and expectations regarding disclosure.
Partners may need to know specific details of their soldier's deployment in order to understand and support them better. On the other hand, some soldiers may only want to share enough information to maintain a connection with their partner without oversharing.
One strategy for building trust and intimacy despite selective disclosure is to focus on shared experiences outside of combat. Partners can ask their soldiers about non-traumatic aspects of their deployment, such as daily life, relationships with fellow service members, and adjustment to civilian life. These conversations can help to create a more balanced view of their soldier's experience and demonstrate empathy and understanding.
Partners can offer validation and support for any experiences that their soldier chooses to disclose. This can show that they are there for their soldier even if they don't fully understand what they went through during deployment.
Seeking professional help from therapists or counselors trained in working with military families can be beneficial for both parties. Trauma therapy can help partners process their feelings around selective disclosure and provide strategies for supporting their soldier's emotional needs. Meanwhile, mental health professionals can work with soldiers to address underlying issues that may be contributing to selective disclosure, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or depression. Together, these efforts can promote healing and improve relational trust and intimacy between partners who have been impacted by trauma.
Navigating the challenges of selective disclosure requires open communication, empathy, and a willingness to seek help when needed. By creating a safe space for their loved ones to share what they feel comfortable with and providing support where possible, soldiers and their partners can build stronger connections and rekindle their relationship after deployment.
How do partners respond to soldiers' selective disclosure of traumatic experiences while maintaining relational trust and intimacy?
It is not uncommon for military personnel who have been exposed to trauma during combat or other operations to struggle with feelings of isolation, anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms upon returning home. This can be especially true if they feel unable to openly share their experiences with loved ones due to fear of judgment, stigmatization, or shame.