Relationships between military veterans and their partners can be complicated due to the unique challenges faced during deployment and reintegration. One such challenge is traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) which often manifests itself through nightmares, flashbacks, avoidance behavior, hypervigilance, intrusive thoughts, feelings of detachment from others, guilt, anger, shame, depression, anxiety, and irritability.
Military personnel are also affected by moral injury caused by witnessing or participating in acts that violate one's moral code, leading to a sense of betrayal or alienation from self and society. This essay explores strategies for relationship maintenance when one partner experiences combat-related trauma or moral injury.
Strategies for Relationship Maintenance
When dealing with traumatic stress disorder, it is important to seek professional help. Military veterans should attend therapy sessions to manage their symptoms and learn healthy coping mechanisms. Partners of military personnel should attend couples counseling to understand the symptoms and how they impact the relationship. Counselors can provide tools to improve communication, increase understanding, reduce conflict, and strengthen intimacy. It may also be helpful to participate in support groups for military families where you can connect with other couples who share similar experiences.
Maintaining Intimacy
Maintaining intimacy is critical for relationships affected by PTSD and moral injury. Communication is key here - talk openly about your feelings without judging or blaming each other. Be patient and understanding during difficult times. Practice active listening by fully hearing what your partner is saying without interruption. Use nonverbal cues such as eye contact, touch, and facial expressions to express empathy and connection. Make time for regular dates and activities together outside of everyday routines. Create new rituals like having dinner together or going on walks.
Understanding Trauma Symptoms
PTSD symptoms can cause flashbacks and avoidance behavior that make it difficult for partners to feel safe and secure. Veterans need to reassure partners that these are not personal attacks but a symptom of the trauma. Provide reassurance that you love them despite their condition, validate their emotions and fears, and listen actively to concerns without dismissing them. Encourage your partner to seek professional help if needed. Remind yourself that both of you are working towards healing.
Self-Care
Both partners must prioritize self-care to maintain healthy relationships. This means taking breaks when necessary, practicing mindfulness techniques to manage stress, engaging in hobbies, and connecting with friends and family. Military veterans should take care of themselves physically through exercise, proper nutrition, sleep, and relaxation practices. Partners should also practice self-compassion and seek support from others who understand their situation. Both parties should work on building resilience, reducing negative thoughts, and developing positive coping mechanisms to deal with life's challenges.
Support Networks
Support networks can be crucial for military families affected by combat trauma. Reach out to other military spouses, form support groups with people who have experienced similar situations, connect with online communities where you can share experiences and find resources. Family members should attend educational programs about PTSD and moral injury to better understand what their loved one is going through. Ask for help when needed - don't try to handle everything alone. Remember that military families face unique challenges and deserve extra support.
Relationships between military veterans and their partners require effort and understanding to navigate the unique challenges of deployment and reintegration. Seeking therapy, practicing intimacy, understanding traumatic symptoms, prioritizing self-care, and forming a strong support network are all strategies for relationship maintenance when one partner experiences combat-related trauma or moral injury. With patience, communication, empathy, and commitment, couples can overcome these obstacles and build stronger relationships.
What strategies support relationship maintenance when one partner experiences combat-related trauma or moral injury?
Trauma from combat or other traumatic events can have lasting effects on both individuals involved in a relationship. Moral injury is an internal experience of guilt, shame, or self-blame that can arise after witnessing or experiencing trauma. Research has shown that couples who provide mutual understanding and validation during difficult times are more likely to maintain their relationships than those who do not (Lewis et al. , 2019).