Military training is designed to teach soldiers how to overcome their natural instinct for self-preservation and protect themselves and others from harm. This involves developing mental toughness, physical strength, and skills in tactics and weapons handling. To achieve this goal, soldiers are subjected to rigorous training regimes that emphasize discipline, obedience, and teamwork.
This can come at the cost of emotional closeness. Soldiers may become afraid to show vulnerability or express their feelings, which can make it difficult to form close bonds with family members or romantic partners.
One way soldiers try to reconcile these opposing needs is through compartmentalization. They separate their military life from their personal lives and create distinct roles for each context.
They might be loving fathers at home but strict commanders in the field. They also learn to control their emotions and hide them behind a stoic facade. This can help them function effectively in combat situations but may lead to difficulties connecting with loved ones who expect more openness and intimacy.
Another approach is to seek support and community within the military itself. Soldiers develop strong relationships with their fellow service members and rely on them for social connection, companionship, and emotional comfort. These relationships provide a sense of belonging and stability that can counteract the isolation and uncertainty of deployment. But they can also reinforce hypermasculine values and norms that discourage emotionally vulnerable behavior.
Some soldiers find ways to integrate their two worlds by sharing their experiences with loved ones back home. They might write letters or send emails describing their daily routines and challenges, or share stories about their unit mates and comrades-in-arms. This allows them to maintain closeness while still protecting themselves emotionally. It also helps their families understand the demands and sacrifices of military life.
Many soldiers struggle to balance these conflicting demands. They may feel guilty about being distant from their loved ones or frustrated with their inability to fully express themselves. They may turn to alcohol or other substances to numb their feelings or engage in risky behaviors like gambling or excessive partying to escape the pressures of both military life and civilian relationships.
There is no easy solution to this dilemma. The tension between emotional closeness and military conditioning will continue to challenge soldiers and their loved ones long after they leave active duty.
Understanding the complexities of this issue can help soldiers navigate it more effectively and promote healthier relationships with those who matter most to them.
How do soldiers reconcile the need for emotional closeness with fears of vulnerability stemming from military conditioning?
Soldiers must navigate between their need for emotional closeness and their fears of vulnerability stemming from military training which emphasizes self-reliance and independence. This can be challenging as it often requires them to balance their desire for intimacy and support with the risk of revealing weaknesses or insecurities that could potentially jeopardize their mission or unit cohesion.