Researchers have been studying how soldiers can improve their resilience and cope with stressful situations for decades. One key factor that has emerged from this research is the importance of relational experiences in promoting long-term resilience. Relationships with friends, family members, and romantic partners play an essential role in helping soldiers process difficult events and build emotional strength. In this article, we will explore what relational experiences are, how they contribute to resilience, and some tips for building strong relationships during military service.
Let's define "relational experience." According to psychologist John Gottman, a relational experience is "anything you do together with another person that gives your relationship meaning" Gottman. This could include activities like going out to eat, watching movies, playing games, taking vacations, or even just talking about day-to-day life. These experiences create memories and shared experiences that help solidify bonds between people. By creating positive memories together, soldiers can build resilience and coping strategies for dealing with future challenges.
We must consider how these experiences affect resilience. Psychologists have found that strong relationships promote mental health and well-being by providing social support, reducing feelings of isolation, and increasing self-esteem Cohen et al., 2018. When soldiers face traumatic events, such as combat, they need all the support they can get. Building strong relationships helps them process their feelings, share difficult experiences, and find hope and purpose. It also allows them to draw on resources beyond themselves, which can be crucial when they return home from deployment.
There are several ways to build strong relationships during military service:
1. Schedule regular time together: Planning dates, activities, and vacations can help couples stay connected despite busy schedules. This doesn't mean every moment has to be perfect; sometimes just spending time together without distractions is enough.
2. Communicate openly and honestly: Being vulnerable takes courage but is necessary for building trust and intimacy. Soldiers should talk about their fears, hopes, dreams, and struggles with each other regularly.
3. Practice active listening: Active listening means paying attention to what your partner says rather than planning a response or waiting to speak. It shows you value their opinions and care about their thoughts.
4. Be mindful of nonverbal cues: Nonverbal cues like body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice communicate more than words. Pay attention to these signals and respond appropriately.
5. Avoid criticism and blame: Criticism and blaming create defensiveness and resentment. Instead, focus on solutions and compromises.
6. Seek outside support: Sometimes it can be hard to connect with loved ones during deployments or long periods apart. Seeking outside support through friends, family members, or therapy can help soldiers feel less isolated and lonely.
Relational experiences play an essential role in promoting resilience and coping among soldiers. By prioritizing communication, active listening, and mutual understanding, soldiers can build strong relationships that provide emotional support even in the most challenging situations. Building these skills now will prepare them for whatever life throws their way.
How do soldiers integrate relational experiences into long-term resilience and coping?
When soldiers reintegrate back into their daily lives after serving on active duty in combat zones, they often experience stress, anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues that can make it difficult for them to cope with everyday challenges. These struggles may stem from trauma exposure during deployment or difficulties adapting to civilian life upon return. Relationships play an important role in helping these individuals recover and build resilience by providing support, understanding, validation, and empathy.