The military is known for its strict rules, regulations, and discipline. But what happens when these men and women return home from combat zones where they have seen death, destruction, and violence up close? They may struggle to cope with civilian life, including their marriages or partnerships. Military service members often experience trauma that can make it difficult for them to feel safe, vulnerable, or open enough to be intimate with their loved ones. Here are some steps veterans can take to rebuild trust, vulnerability, and sexual intimacy after deployment.
Seek professional help. Many veterans benefit from speaking with a therapist who specializes in post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and trauma recovery. This helps them understand their thoughts and feelings more deeply and learn new ways of coping with stressful situations. It also gives them tools to communicate better with their partner about their needs and fears.
Set clear boundaries. Veterans may need time alone or away from others before returning to normal social activities, which could include sex. Talk to your partner about this beforehand so they don't feel abandoned or hurt by your absence. Remember that you are still learning how to adjust back into civilian life.
Talking openly and honestly about your experiences during deployment can be helpful too. If something happened while you were deployed that made you feel ashamed or guilty, discuss it with your partner without blaming yourself. Try using "I" statements instead of "you" statements to avoid sounding accusatory or defensive. For example: "I felt scared when we were attacked" rather than "You should have been more careful."
Practice self-care. Take care of your physical and mental health by eating well, getting exercise, meditating, and practicing mindfulness techniques like yoga or tai chi. These practices can reduce stress levels and improve mood. You might even consider joining a group for veterans who share similar struggles. Connecting with other people who understand what you've gone through can help reduce isolation and loneliness.
How do veterans rebuild trust, vulnerability, and sexual intimacy after deployment?
After returning from deployment, veterans may experience difficulty rebuilding trust with their partners due to a lack of social connection during their time away. This can lead to feelings of isolation and a disconnect between the individuals' sexual desires. It is important for both parties to communicate openly about their needs and expectations, create a safe space for exploration, and engage in activities that promote bonding and intimacy.