Deployment is an experience that can bring about significant changes in one's personality, values, beliefs, and behaviors. It involves being away from home for extended periods, facing various challenges and situations that require flexibility and adaptation. One such change often observed among military personnel returning from deployment is a shift in their priorities and perspectives regarding relationships. This may lead to conflicts between them and their loved ones when they try to reintegrate into civilian life. In this article, we will explore how individuals reconcile personal growth experienced during deployment with partners' expectations of continuity in intimate relationships.
The first step towards reconciliation is understanding the impact of deployment on personal development. Deployment can have a profound effect on one's mental health, emotional wellbeing, and social connections. Military members may face traumatic experiences, such as combat exposure or witnessing death and destruction. They may develop post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, anxiety, and other psychological issues. These conditions can significantly alter their views on life and relationships, causing them to question traditional norms and values. Individuals who undergo a transformation may find it challenging to adjust to pre-deployment routines, including family responsibilities and relationship dynamics.
Another factor that affects reconciliation is the partner's reaction to these changes. Partners may not be aware of the full extent of the soldier's experiences during deployment and may assume everything remains the same. They may resent any changes in behavior, even if these stem from PTSD or other psychological problems. Communication becomes crucial in addressing such discrepancies. Both parties must openly discuss their feelings, needs, and expectations to build mutual understanding. The military member should express what has changed and why without imposing their viewpoints on others. Partners should listen actively and avoid judgment, allowing space for introspection and reflection.
Couples therapy can also help overcome obstacles caused by conflicting perspectives. A trained professional facilitates constructive communication between partners, encourages empathy, and helps identify common ground. Couples learn to understand each other's point of view and work towards compromise. They practice active listening, assertiveness, and conflict resolution skills that promote intimacy and trust. This process requires time and patience but offers long-term benefits that enhance the quality of the relationship.
Deployments have far-reaching impacts on individuals' personal growth, which may differ from those of their partners. Reconciling these differences requires effective communication, empathy, and willingness to change. With proper support and guidance, couples can reconnect and strengthen their bond.
How do individuals reconcile personal growth experienced during deployment with partners' expectations of continuity?
People who experience personal development while deployed may struggle to balance this new identity with their partner's expectations of them. Individuals often face difficulties in explaining how they have changed and adjusting to their old life upon return from deployment. This can lead to misunderstandings between the individual and their partner about what is expected of each other, leading to feelings of resentment or distance.