The military mindset emphasizes self-control, orderliness, discipline, obedience to authority, and mission accomplishment above all else. This often involves suppressing feelings of fear, anger, sadness, anxiety, and even love.
The military training process also creates strong bonds between soldiers that are based on trust, loyalty, and mutual support. When these soldiers return home and start dating, they may find it difficult to reconcile their emotional restraint with their partner's need for open communication and empathy. The collision of these two mindsets can lead to psychological conflicts that can be challenging to navigate.
One such conflict is the discrepancy between what is appropriate to share with one's partner and what is kept secret due to military regulations. Military members are taught to keep certain information private, including personal details about their lives, missions, and activities while deployed. This can make it hard for them to feel comfortable sharing intimate details with their partners, as they may worry about breaching security or embarrassing themselves.
Military culture places a high value on secrecy and deception, which can make it difficult for veterans to feel safe opening up emotionally in relationships.
Another conflict is the different ways in which veterans and civilians communicate their needs. Civilians tend to express their desires more openly, whereas military personnel have been trained to minimize their wants and focus on completing tasks without complaint. This difference in communication styles can create misunderstandings and frustration in romantic relationships. Veterans may struggle to articulate what they want sexually or how they feel emotionally, leading to confusion and resentment from their partner. They may also feel uncomfortable asking for help or admitting vulnerability, which can further complicate matters.
Sexuality can also pose a challenge for military couples who have become accustomed to following strict rules and protocols. Many veterans struggle with feelings of guilt, shame, or fear related to sexuality and intimacy, which can cause problems in their relationships. The military training process often involves teaching soldiers to suppress their sexual urges and maintain control over their bodies at all times. This can lead to difficulty with relaxing into a romantic setting and enjoying physical closeness with one's partner.
The resulting emotional distance between veterans and their partners can be harmful to both parties. It can prevent them from truly connecting with each other on an emotional level and feeling supported and understood.
This lack of intimacy can damage the relationship and lead to disconnection, loneliness, and even infidelity.
To address these conflicts, it is important for veterans and their partners to work together to find a balance between openness and restraint. They should communicate clearly about their needs and boundaries, respecting each other's limits while also creating space for growth and exploration. They may need to seek counseling or therapy to help them navigate these issues and build stronger bonds of trust and support.
What psychological conflicts arise when military conditioning of emotional restraint collides with a partner's need for empathy, openness, and sexual communication?
Many people experience conflict between their need for emotional connection and intimacy and their military training which emphasizes self-control and discipline. This can be especially challenging when it comes to matters of sexuality and communication within a relationship. The military's focus on obedience and adherence to rules can lead to difficulties expressing one's feelings or needs freely.