The transition from civilian life to the military is significant for many reasons.
One aspect that often goes unnoticed is how it affects personal relationships, particularly when soldiers return home and enter into an intimate partnership. In this article, we will examine how power dynamics learned in the military can influence soldiers' assumptions about authority, responsibility, and emotional labor within their relationships.
Soldiers are trained to follow orders and maintain strict discipline while in service, which creates a hierarchical structure where they must obey their superiors without question. This hierarchy extends beyond the battlefield and impacts personal relationships after discharge. Soldiers may be hesitant to share their feelings and opinions because they fear conflict or reprisal from their partner. They may also feel more comfortable making decisions and taking charge, leading to a dynamic where one person takes on a dominant role in the relationship. This can lead to tension if both partners do not agree on who should take on what responsibilities or make important decisions.
Soldiers learn to suppress their emotions during combat, which can carry over into their personal lives. They may find it difficult to express love and affection freely, leading to distance between themselves and their partner. This behavior can cause strain on the relationship, as partners seek deeper connection but cannot get past the soldier's walls.
Soldiers may have difficulty processing intense emotions such as guilt or regret due to trauma experienced during war. These struggles may manifest in destructive patterns of communication that can harm the relationship.
Soldiers' experiences in the military shape their expectations for relationships back at home. Understanding these factors is crucial for building healthy and fulfilling intimacy with veterans. It's essential for partners to recognize how power dynamics learned in the military affect their interactions and work towards creating a balance of power and emotionally safe space within their union.
How do power dynamics learned in the military shape soldiers' assumptions about authority, responsibility, and emotional labor within intimate partnerships?
The power dynamics learned in the military can shape soldiers' assumptions about authority, responsibility, and emotional labor within intimate relationships. The hierarchical structure of the military instills discipline and obedience in soldiers, leading them to assume that they should be responsible for their actions and take orders from superiors. This sense of duty and accountability may transfer to intimate relationships where one partner assumes the role of "the boss" while the other takes on the role of subordinate.