Sustaining Relational Engagement When Soldiers Display Inconsistent Emotional Responsiveness
Soldiers are trained to respond to stressful situations calmly and efficiently.
Reintegration into civilian life can be challenging for some due to their emotional responses being inconsistent, which may cause misunderstandings between them and their romantic partners. Understanding this behavior and sustaining relational engagement requires open communication and shared commitment. This article discusses strategies that couples can use to navigate these obstacles.
Be Open and Honest about Feelings
One strategy is to communicate openly and honestly about feelings without blaming or shaming. When soldiers express frustration, anger, anxiety, or other negative emotions, their partners should validate them without making assumptions or demanding explanations. Validation involves listening actively, empathizing, and acknowledging their emotions. It does not involve offering advice or trying to fix the problem. Couples should also set aside regular time for check-ins, where they share their thoughts and feelings without interruptions or distractions. These conversations can build trust and intimacy while allowing for more nuanced understanding of each other's needs.
Practice Self-Care and Mutual Support
Another strategy is to practice self-care individually and as a couple. Soldiers may have trouble processing intense experiences, so they need space and support to heal. Partners can offer emotional support by practicing active listening and providing practical assistance like preparing meals or taking care of household chores. They should encourage self-care activities like exercise, therapy, meditation, hobbies, or socializing with friends.
A partner might invite a veteran to play video games together or attend a yoga class.
Recognize and Address Triggers
Soldiers may experience triggers that remind them of combat, such as loud noises or crowds. If this happens, they should seek help from loved ones who understand how to provide comfort and safety. Partners should avoid telling them to "get over it" or ignoring their concerns. Instead, they should provide reassurance, validation, and support until the trigger passes. This could involve cuddling, talking, watching movies, or doing other relaxing activities.
Seek Professional Help
If soldiers are struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or other mental health issues, they should seek professional help. Their partners should be involved in treatment and take an active role in advocating for their needs. Therapists can teach communication skills, coping mechanisms, and problem-solving strategies to address challenges like anger management, mood swings, or substance abuse. Couples counseling is also recommended to address relationship problems caused by trauma.
Pursue Activities Together
Couples should pursue shared interests and experiences to sustain relational engagement. This can include attending events, trying new hobbies, or traveling to new places. These activities promote bonding, create shared memories, and provide distraction from stressors. They can also reinforce positive emotions and build resilience during difficult times.
A couple might go camping or explore a museum exhibit together.
Soldiers' inconsistent emotional responsiveness during reintegration may cause misunderstandings between them and their romantic partners. By communicating openly, practicing self-care, recognizing triggers, seeking professional help, and pursuing activities together, couples can sustain relational engagement despite these obstacles.
How do partners sustain relational engagement when soldiers display inconsistent emotional responsiveness during reintegration?
Research suggests that partners can sustain relational engagement with returning military personnel by providing positive reinforcement for their efforts towards reintegration, being patient and understanding of the challenges faced, and maintaining open communication channels to discuss concerns and needs (Bray et al. , 2019).