A major challenge that many military couples face is maintaining trust after deployment.
Even more challenging can be sustaining this connection during deployment, when communication may become difficult and opportunities for intimacy are few. This is especially true when one partner has been traumatized by their experience and struggles to open up emotionally. In fact, many veterans returning from war report difficulty expressing themselves verbally due to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, or other mental health conditions.
Soldiers who have experienced combat may struggle to talk about what they've seen or done during deployment because it brings back painful memories. They might also feel embarrassed or ashamed of their actions or fear being judged by their loved ones. As a result, they may withdraw emotionally and avoid sharing their thoughts and feelings.
For partners who want to stay connected but don't know how to support their spouse through these challenges, it can be frustrating and hurtful. But there are steps you can take to build trust and strengthen your relationship, even in the absence of verbal intimacy. Here are some tips:
1. Practice active listening - Even if your soldier isn't talking much, show them you care by actively listening when they do. Ask questions to draw them out and show genuine interest in what they're saying. Don't try to 'fix' their problems; just listen without judgment.
2. Be patient - It takes time for trauma survivors to heal and reconnect with their emotions. Give your partner space to process things at their own pace, and don't pressure them into opening up before they're ready.
3. Share experiences - If possible, try to share experiences that help both of you connect emotionally despite limited communication. This could mean going on hikes together or enjoying each other's company quietly.
4. Reassure - Let your partner know that you love them unconditionally, regardless of any mistakes they've made during deployment. Affirming words and gestures can go a long way toward building trust.
5. Seek outside help - Sometimes, traumatic events require professional intervention. Encourage your partner to seek therapy or join a support group for veterans and their families.
Sustaining trust requires patience, understanding, and consistent effort from both partners. With time and perseverance, you can overcome challenges and rebuild a strong bond that will last far beyond deployment.
How do partners sustain long-term trust when soldiers have limited capacity for emotional disclosure due to trauma?
Partners of military veterans who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) may experience feelings of isolation and abandonment as their partner withdraws emotionally and physically after returning from combat. The PTSD symptoms can make it difficult for veterans to engage in open communication with loved ones and express their feelings, making the relationship vulnerable to misunderstandings and breakdowns.