How to maintain sexual and emotional intimacy for military couples experiencing traumatic stress
Sexual and emotional connection is an important part of any relationship, but it can be particularly challenging for military couples who are coping with trauma. When one partner experiences symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), such as hypervigilance, avoidance, or detachment, it can affect their ability to connect with their partner emotionally and physically. This can lead to feelings of isolation, frustration, and even shame for both partners.
There are ways that military couples can work together to overcome these obstacles and maintain intimacy.
Understanding PTSD Symptoms
The first step towards sustaining sexual and emotional connection is understanding how PTSD symptoms may impact your partner's behavior.
If your partner is hypervigilant or constantly scanning their environment for potential threats, they may become easily startled or triggered by sudden noises or movements. They may also have difficulty relaxing and being present in the moment, making it difficult to engage in intimate activities like cuddling or kissing.
Detachment and avoidance symptoms can cause your partner to withdraw emotionally, making them less likely to initiate physical contact or share their thoughts and feelings. Understanding these symptoms can help you develop a deeper empathy for your partner's experience and avoid misinterpreting their behavior as rejection or indifference.
Communicating Openly and Honestly
Communication is key when it comes to maintaining sexual and emotional connection in any relationship, but it is especially important for military couples coping with trauma. Be open about your own needs and desires and encourage your partner to do the same. Ask questions and listen actively to understand what they are feeling and thinking. Avoid accusations or criticism, as this can further exacerbate already tense relationships. Instead, focus on problem-solving and finding solutions that work for both of you.
You might try scheduling regular "date nights" where you can connect without distractions or discussing ways to reduce stress in the home.
Maintaining Physical Intimacy
While sexual intimacy may be more challenging during times of traumatic stress, it doesn't have to be completely off the table. Try setting aside time each day for physical touch, such as holding hands, hugging, or kissing. This can help your partner feel connected and loved even if they are not ready for full-blown sex. You might also experiment with non-sexual forms of physical intimacy, such as massage, cuddling, or simply walking together outside. Remember that sexuality is more than just intercourse - it's about exploring pleasure and connecting emotionally with your partner. By focusing on these aspects of intimacy, you can create a stronger foundation for future sexual encounters.
Seeking Professional Help
If you or your partner are struggling with maintaining emotional or sexual connection, seek professional help from a therapist who specializes in treating PTSD. They can provide individualized support and guidance tailored to your unique needs and goals.
Consider joining a support group for military families dealing with PTSD, where you can connect with others who understand what you're going through. These groups can provide valuable resources, education, and community support that can make all the difference when coping with trauma.
How do military couples sustain sexual and emotional connection when one partner experiences trauma-related withdrawal, hypervigilance, or detachment?
Research shows that many military couples face challenges in maintaining a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship due to factors such as deployment, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. Couples may experience difficulty communicating effectively about their needs and desires, leading to misunderstandings, frustration, and distance between them.