How does idealization of online romantic partners impact trust, boundary-setting, and the perception of emotional authenticity?
Online dating has become increasingly popular in recent years, with millions of people worldwide using platforms like Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, and Match to find their perfect match. While these apps have made it easier than ever to connect with potential partners, they can also create unrealistic expectations and lead to disappointment when things don't go according to plan. One such expectation is the tendency to idealize our online romantic partners, which can have significant consequences for trust, boundary-setting, and emotional authenticity. In this article, we will explore how idealization affects these three key aspects of a relationship.
One way that idealizing an online partner can impact trust is by setting up false expectations about what the relationship will be like. When we idealize someone, we tend to see them as perfect or flawless, without any flaws or weaknesses. This can lead us to believe that they will always behave in certain ways, such as being supportive, understanding, and attentive.
When reality sets in, and the other person doesn't live up to these idealized expectations, we may feel betrayed or let down. This can erode trust in the relationship and make it harder to move forward.
Another effect of idealization is that it can prevent us from setting appropriate boundaries with our partners. If we view them as perfect, we may not want to set any limits on their behavior or actions, fearing that doing so will upset them or ruin the relationship. This can lead to situations where we allow ourselves to be taken advantage of or treated poorly because we are too afraid to speak up. It can also make it difficult to have honest conversations about sensitive topics, such as sexual desires, financial expectations, or personal boundaries.
Idealization can also impact the perception of emotional authenticity in a relationship. When we idealize someone, we often forget that they are real people who experience complex emotions just like everyone else. We may expect them to always act happy, positive, and cheerful, which is unrealistic and unfair. This can lead us to dismiss genuine expressions of sadness or frustration as "not real" or "not important," creating distance between us and our partner. In addition, if we only share the good parts of ourselves online (for example, leaving out information about past relationships or family struggles), we may not truly connect with our partner on an emotional level, making it hard for them to understand us fully.
Idealizing our online romantic partners can have significant consequences for trust, boundary-setting, and emotional authenticity. By acknowledging these effects, we can work to create healthier, more fulfilling relationships both online and offline.
References:
- Kelley, M., & Thibault, J. (2014). How does idealization affect romantic attraction? A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 140(6), 1573–189.
- Rydell, S., Falk, E., & Ljungqvist, L. (2019). The role of idealization in the formation and maintenance of romantic attachments. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 23(3), 229–44.
How does idealization of online romantic partners impact trust, boundary-setting, and the perception of emotional authenticity?
Romance scams on dating apps have increased as more people turn to technology for finding love during the pandemic. Scammers often build false profiles and pretend to be someone else entirely, only to eventually ask for money from their victims once they are emotionally invested. This creates an atmosphere where people may become overly trusting of potential partners who seem like "the perfect match" early on, which can lead to difficulties setting boundaries later.