Fetishizing bisexuality is becoming increasingly commonplace in modern media. Films, TV shows, music videos, advertising campaigns, books, magazines, social media posts—all sorts of platforms are now featuring stereotypical depictions of what it means to be bisexual. As a result, many people who identify as bisexual feel like they have to fit into this narrow mold, even though their real-life experiences of intimacy and love may differ significantly from these exaggerated portrayals. This can lead to confusion, self-doubt, shame, and frustration for both individuals and couples. In this article, I will explore how fetishization of bisexuality distorts real-life experiences of intimacy and love and offer suggestions for healthier representation.
Let's define "fetishization." It refers to treating something or someone as an object of sexual desire, often without regard for its true nature. When it comes to bisexuality, that usually means presenting bisexuals as sexually available and willing to engage in threesomes or group sex. This is problematic because it suggests that all bisexual people are hypersexualized and promiscuous.
Most bisexuals are just like anyone else: seeking long-term relationships based on mutual respect, affection, trust, and commitment. Bisexual men and women are not necessarily looking for the next person to add to their list of conquests; they want love and stability too.
Fetishizing bisexuality also perpetuates harmful stereotypes about bisexual behavior.
Some media outlets portray bisexuality as unstable or unfaithful. They imply that bisexuals are always trying to cheat on their partner with someone of a different gender. While infidelity certainly exists within any relationship, the idea that bisexuality itself leads to betrayal is unfounded and hurtful. It creates an environment where bisexuals feel like they need to hide their identity from partners and loved ones, fearing rejection and discrimination.
Fetishizing bisexuality encourages negative attitudes toward nonmonogamy, polyamory, and open relationships—all valid options for many people.
Fetishization can cause confusion and self-doubt among those who identify as bisexual. Many people have difficulty understanding what it means to be bisexual if they only see exaggerated caricatures in popular culture. They may wonder whether they're "doing it right," question their own desires, or worry about being judged by others. This can lead to anxiety and depression, particularly when coupled with internalized biphobia (i.e., negative attitudes towards one's own sexuality). It's important to remember that there's no one way to be bisexual, and that everyone's experience is unique.
Let's discuss healthier representation. Instead of fetishizing bisexuality, media should focus on realistic depictions of bisexual individuals and couples. This might include portrayals of bisexuals in committed monogamous relationships, exploring their emotional needs alongside physical desire. It could also involve highlighting how bisexuality intersects with other identities (such as race, gender, disability) and the challenges faced by bisexual people of color, transgender people, and LGBTQ+ elders.
We need more diverse representations of bisexual people in all walks of life to combat stereotypes and create a safe space for everyone to express themselves authentically.
Fetishizing bisexuality distorts real-life experiences of intimacy and love. It creates harmful stereotypes, causes confusion and self-doubt, and reinforces negative attitudes toward nonmonogamy. To promote healthy representation, media outlets should present realistic portrayals of bisexual people and their relationships, focusing on emotional depth and diversity over sexualization. By doing so, we can help break down barriers and foster a more inclusive society where bisexual individuals feel accepted and empowered.
How does the fetishization of bisexuality in media distort real-life experiences of intimacy and love?
The fetishization of bisexuality in media contributes to the notion that bisexuality is more of a sexual preference than an identity, leading individuals to view it as a temporary phase in life rather than an essential part of one's self.