How does religious respectability silence elder sexuality?
Elder people are often seen as sexless beings who no longer need to worry about sex or sexuality. This stigma is perpetuated through religious teachings that emphasize chastity and purity for older adults.
Some religions also promote the idea of marital sex as a means to procreate, which can contribute to the marginalization of those unable to have children.
Many cultures view aging as a time when sexual desires decrease or disappear entirely. These misconceptions result in the silencing of elder sexuality, which leads to isolation and shame.
In order to better understand how religious beliefs affect the sexual lives of older adults, let's examine the Bible. The book of Genesis discusses the story of Adam and Eve, where they were commanded to "be fruitful and multiply" (Genesis 1:28). This commandment implies that having sex outside of marriage or childbearing is sinful.
Other Biblical passages suggest that married couples should abstain from sex during menstruation, implying that older women may become undesirable due to their natural bodily changes.
Islamic teachings similarly emphasize chastity and modesty among all ages but place more importance on virginity before marriage than Christian teachings. Muslims believe that it is shameful to engage in premarital sex or cohabitation, even if both parties agree. Once again, this places pressure on older individuals to conform to society's expectations rather than follow their own desires. In addition, Islam views aging as an opportunity to deepen one's spiritual life and relationships with God, not as a time for sensual pleasure.
Buddhism promotes celibacy, whether for monks or laypeople who choose it. Although some Buddhist texts acknowledge that desire will naturally arise in people regardless of age, the religion encourages practitioners to resist temptation and avoid indulging in lustful thoughts and actions. This can be particularly challenging for older adults who struggle with loneliness or disability-related limitations.
Hinduism has no specific rules regarding sexuality after retirement, but many Hindus still subscribe to cultural norms that discourage open discussions about intimacy between seniors. Instead, they may focus on meditating, serving others, or pursuing spiritual enlightenment instead.
Elderly widows are often expected to take vows of celibacy and remain devoted to their late husband's memory.
Religious beliefs create a culture where sex becomes taboo later in life, leaving elders feeling ashamed and isolated. Conversely, those who do express their sexual needs risk being shunned by family members or religious leaders. These societal pressures contribute to the silence around elder sexuality and reinforce stereotypes that all elders should be sexless.
The resulting isolation and stigma negatively impact mental health outcomes such as depression and anxiety.
Older individuals may feel guilty for desiring physical affection when society views them as nonsexual beings. Some may turn to pornography or other unhealthy coping mechanisms, leading to greater shame and self-loathing.
To address this issue, we must challenge societal norms that view aging as a time when desire disappears entirely. Elder sexuality is a natural part of human biology, regardless of age or ability level. We must also promote safe spaces for elders to explore their sensuality without fear of judgement or rejection. This includes providing resources like senior dating sites and educational programs on sexual health. By doing so, we can break down barriers and empower elders to live fulfilling lives with intimacy and connection.